Share This Page

Everybody in 'Burgh has gripe for G-20

Why should Code Pink's damsels have all the fun?

The female anti-war group and numerous other devotees of dissent plan to protest the Group of 20 economic summit Sept. 24 and 25 at the David L. Lawrence Convention Center.

It's nearly impossible to find a hotel room in Pittsburgh that week, and every bail bondsman between here and New Castle reportedly is on call.

With the global spotlight poised to shine rarely and momentarily on the city, many out-of-towners who refuse to accentuate the positive have determined Pittsburgh will be a swell locale to air grievances.

But natives have some gripes of their own, and should consider venting their frustrations.

Mayor Luke Ravenstahl proposed legislation that would bar folks from using animal waste or rotten eggs to convey their dissatisfaction, which admittedly diminishes much of the incentive to take to the streets.

Nevertheless, the following locals should apply for protest permits and begin demonstrating immediately, before the Code Pink types grab all the attention:

• Citizens Against Unspecified Upheaval

Composed of: Several hundred thousand area residents fed up with the lack of details provided on the Downtown security perimeter, associated street closings, traffic restrictions, parking garage shutdowns and public transportation detours reportedly arriving with President Obama and the scores of foreign dignitaries attending the G-20.

Protesting: This form of mental waterboarding that has left people completely incapable of adequately planning for the significant inconveniences they are certain to suffer during the summit.

Rallying cry: "Tell us before our tempers blow just what exactly you're gonna close!"

• Citizens For Consistent Classroom Time

Composed of: Any parent with a child in Pittsburgh Public Schools.

Protesting: The G-20's contribution to the ridiculous amount of educational downtime the cancellation-happy school district typically provides students.

Students will receive a two-hour early dismissal the day before the G-20 begins, and no classes will be held during the summit. That time off immediately precedes the district's first vacation day of the new school year.

Rallying cry: "Two, four, six, eight, you also have too many snow dates!"

• Citizens Who Want Their City Back

Composed of: People who don't necessarily believe the limited international exposure Pittsburgh will receive as G-20 host is worth the city being temporarily overtaken by thousands of summit attendees, protesters, reporters and police officers.

Protesting: A city about to be turned upside down just so the Japanese finance minister can return home and tell his wife, "Pittsburgh wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but it was impossible to find good sushi within the fenced-off security zone."

Rallying cry: "The people, united: Our patience is depleted!"

TribLIVE commenting policy

You are solely responsible for your comments and by using TribLive.com you agree to our Terms of Service.

We moderate comments. Our goal is to provide substantive commentary for a general readership. By screening submissions, we provide a space where readers can share intelligent and informed commentary that enhances the quality of our news and information.

While most comments will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive, moderating decisions are subjective. We will make them as carefully and consistently as we can. Because of the volume of reader comments, we cannot review individual moderation decisions with readers.

We value thoughtful comments representing a range of views that make their point quickly and politely. We make an effort to protect discussions from repeated comments either by the same reader or different readers

We follow the same standards for taste as the daily newspaper. A few things we won't tolerate: personal attacks, obscenity, vulgarity, profanity (including expletives and letters followed by dashes), commercial promotion, impersonations, incoherence, proselytizing and SHOUTING. Don't include URLs to Web sites.

We do not edit comments. They are either approved or deleted. We reserve the right to edit a comment that is quoted or excerpted in an article. In this case, we may fix spelling and punctuation.

We welcome strong opinions and criticism of our work, but we don't want comments to become bogged down with discussions of our policies and we will moderate accordingly.

We appreciate it when readers and people quoted in articles or blog posts point out errors of fact or emphasis and will investigate all assertions. But these suggestions should be sent via e-mail. To avoid distracting other readers, we won't publish comments that suggest a correction. Instead, corrections will be made in a blog post or in an article.