TribLIVE

| Lifestyles

 
Larger text Larger text Smaller text Smaller text | Order Photo Reprints

Husband won't get with the meal plan

Email Newsletters

Click here to sign up for one of our email newsletters.

'American Coyotes' Series

Traveling by Jeep, boat and foot, Tribune-Review investigative reporter Carl Prine and photojournalist Justin Merriman covered nearly 2,000 miles over two months along the border with Mexico to report on coyotes — the human traffickers who bring illegal immigrants into the United States. Most are Americans working for money and/or drugs. This series reports how their operations have a major impact on life for residents and the environment along the border — and beyond.

By Carolyn Hax
Thursday, Oct. 11, 2012, 9:33 p.m.
 

Adapted from a recent online discussion.

Dear Carolyn:

My husband and I fight about food, constantly. I grew up with fresh food. He grew up with chips and a candy bar as an integral part of every meal.

It wasn't a big deal when we first got together, but I've since changed a lot (vegetarian, but I'll cook meat for him), and he believes he's the one making all of the compromises. That's true, but because they're for health reasons, I think he should do it and stick around another 50 to 70 years.

Oh, and our young kids are now veryaware of what's on Daddy's plate versus theirs.

I know I'm being a pain, too, but I'm sick and tired of Husband complaining about what I'm cooking, and the kids screaming for what's on Daddy's plate. I don't have the energy to make two dinners every night. Any suggestions? Both of us are at healthy weights, but have a lot of diseases in our families that are helped by healthy diets.

— Food Fight

How about a deal: You back off on the crap he eats, and he doesn't eat it around the kids.

That leaves the problem's roots intact, but because your husband apparently doesn't buy into healthy examples for children(!), you have to anticipate his being too far gone to accept reason. But if you must settle for one goal, your kids' relationship with food is the best one.

Re: Food fight:

Let me get this straight: Wife didn't have an issue with Hubby's diet before, he's at a “healthy weight,” she's (now) a vegetarian, and he's the one who's “too far gone”?

I applaud you for “allowing” hubby to eat what he wants, but Wife seems to have pulled a bait-and-switch.

— Anonymous 1

The arrival of kids trumps any bait-and-switch. Plenty of people grant an adult the right to (bad habit), and even marry that adult knowing (bad habit) comes in the package. But when kids arrive, so do new priorities. (Bad habit) is now a potentially harmful example for the kids — so adult has to either shape up or take (bad habit) outside.

If his bad habit were smoking, then I doubt you'd be crying “bait-and-switch.”

Re: Food Fight:

Wow, this could have been me. We finally resolved it this way: Mom cooks one menu for everyone. Anyone may refuse food, but no complaints are allowed. If you don't like it, don't eat it.

Dad can eat what he wants, in private, if he buys it for himself, or he can cook a square meal of his choosing at any time. It was a fair deal, and eventually he came around.

— Anonymous 2

Sanity! Welcome to the table.

Email Carolyn Hax at tellme@washpost.com, or chat with her online at noon Eastern time each Friday at www.washingtonpost.com.

Subscribe today! Click here for our subscription offers.

 

 


Show commenting policy

Most-Read Stories

  1. Steelers notebook: Injuries finally become issue at training camp
  2. Pirates notebook: New acquisition Happ more than happy to fill spot in rotation
  3. Gameday: Pirates at Reds, Aug. 2, 2015
  4. Architecture: Visionaries saw buildings but not the political surroundings
  5. East Liberty native steps off Broadway to bring ‘Kinky Boots’ home
  6. Inside the Steelers: QB Jones continues to get majority of snaps
  7. Road Trip! Destination: Cuyahoga Valley National Park
  8. Steelers swap draft pick for Eagles cornerback
  9. Western Pa. prosecutors zero in on human trafficking; legislation pending
  10. Pittsburgh Glass Center exhibits new wares that reinterpret antiquities
  11. Zimbabwe suspends hunts amid outcry over lion’s death