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Clean living is key to a healthy marriage

| Wednesday, Nov. 8, 2017, 9:00 p.m.

One of the most oft repeated phrases in our vernacular is “opposites attract.”

It is especially popular when describing unlikely husband-wife relationships and it is, in my opinion, an overused and patently false statement.

Simply put, I believe “likes,” not opposites, attract. People with fundamental similarities make the best partners, friends and spouses. Now before you run through a list of examples which disprove my theory, I will admit there are some specific issues on which two humans can be opposite and, through tolerance, overcome.

I, for example, married a woman (Stacey) who is a germ-o-phobe. I am not. Seems like a small thing, but I assure you it's bigger than you may think. We are working it out — thanks for the concern.

I bring this up now because this is November, the month when the turkey reigns supreme and he, in all his bacterial glory, will sit naked and cold on my kitchen counter. Thanks to a few dozen warnings a day on the local TV news about the dangers of salmonella, e-coli and other ominous sounding things associated with an otherwise tasty bird, turkey day has become a stressful time for my germ-o-phobic wife.

When I see that raw turkey, I imagine him cooked and loaded onto my plate with a side of potatoes. Stacey, on the other hand, frets about a trip to the emergency room.

In the past she would battle the germy remnants of raw poultry by blasting the kitchen with a sanitizing process thorough enough to make any hazmat team take note. The result was a remarkably sterile kitchen, but as a side effect, I had to overcome the stench of industrial disinfectants, soaps and cleansers instead of basking in the glorious scents of roasting gobbler.

But, alas product improvements and better ideas have come to the rescue. Products like BactroKILL (made by Bactronix Corp. in Moon Township) combine super-advanced science with convenient packaging to make disinfecting easy, extremely effective and nearly odor free.

Likewise, the Clorox Co. makes a bleach-free disinfecting wipe with a mild, fresh scent. For soil clean-ups without disinfectant, Simple Green all-purpose wipes are nontoxic, biodegradable and very gentle on the sniffer.

In the Pfeifer household, the use of these products means I complain less about Stacey's scorched-earth policy toward raw turkey toxins. For Stacey, it means less worry about infection and less complaining about my complaining — clearly a win-win.

The moral of the story is that opposites do not attract, and with the right disinfectant, even major differences between likes may be scrubbed away. If I had it to do all over again I might have become a marriage counselor instead of a hardware guy. Stacey strongly opposes me on that. We are working on that, too. Thanks for the concern.

Ed Pfeifer is a freelance columnist for the Tribune-Review and the owner of Pfeifer Hardware Inc., 300 Marshall Way, Mars. If you have questions about hardware, call the store at 724-625-9090.

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