How to wedding plan to 2 grooms
Who pays for a wedding when two grooms are involved? Who walks whom down the aisle? While same-sex weddings are more prevalent than ever, two grooms navigating the wedding planning process might need extra help.
Jason Mitchell, a professional wedding planner in the New York area, said the industry is most definitely focused on females. That's why he wrote “Getting Groomed: The Ultimate Wedding Planner for Gay Grooms,” offering tips for two guys trying to figure it all out. “I think sometimes they're overwhelmed about what they have to include,” said Mitchell, who married his boyfriend and now spends about half his time on the job organizing same-sex weddings.
There's no one size fits all, he said, but he offers these ways to navigate trouble spots:
Paying for it: Mitchell suggests talking openly to both sets of parents about kicking in some bucks.
Walking down the aisle: The processional can be a challenge, Mitchell said. You could have parents walk first and grooms walk in together. Or, create a floor plan that allows for two aisles. You could skip the aisle by having an officiant gather everyone around both grooms after cocktails and appetizers but before dinner.
The wedding party: Some couples have near-equal numbers of male and female loved ones to stand up at their wedding, and so both genders can be represented on both sides. Some couples don't want to divide people on sides, since many are mutual friends who are like family — why not ask them all to be “best boys” and “groomsgirls.”
Making a statement: Mitchell encourages couples to do what feels most comfortable. “The worst feeling is when any couple, gay or straight, going into a wedding, feels the pressure to do something that they don't feel a connection to.” Some couples have honored same-sex marriage as an institution. With a federal judge as the officiant, a recent same-sex wedding included a reading of the majority U.S. Supreme Court opinion that struck down a portion of the Defense of Marriage Act.