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Say 'I don't' to these wedding trends

By The Baltimore Sun
Monday, Aug. 25, 2014, 9:00 p.m.
 

Maybe the simulated lap dance by the bridal party at a reception gave you pause. You probably cringed when you saw the bride and groom request money through a Facebook wedding invitation.

Confused about proper wedding behavior? We recruited advice from a descendant of the queen of taste — Emily Post.

Post's great-great-granddaughter, Lizzie Post, is co-author of “Emily Post's Etiquette” (18th edition) and “Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette” (sixth edition), as well as “Emily Post's Great Get-Togethers.” She is also the author of “How Do You Work This Life Thing?”

We've come up with a list of the tackiest wedding trends to avoid:

Invitations via Facebook: This depends on the type of wedding you're having, according to Post, who is based in Vermont. “The way in which you chose the invitation says a lot about the formality of the wedding,” she said. “If you are asking for people to dress in black tie, I would not send the invitation through Facebook. The method and the style of the invitation should reflect the style of the wedding.”

Asking for money: It's acceptable to ask for cash — but only if someone other than the bride and groom is making the request, according to Post. It's best that the topic of money is raised through parents or friends. It should also be accompanied by an explanation of how the money will be used. “It's a word-of-mouth conversation. And it should never appear on the invitation or in an insert in the invitation either,” she said.

Lap dances, etc. By now, many have seen the viral video of the bridal party performing Beyonce's “Drunk in Love.” The video, which shows a group of women at a reception dancing provocatively to the song, has attracted close to 900,000 views since being posted.

There are also a slew of YouTube videos featuring things like strippers in nurse uniforms performing lap dances at a Russian wedding reception and an equally tacky wedding party performing the Harlem Shake.

Post advises that you should be mindful of your audience. “You really want to remember the other guests who are there. Is this something you want your grandmother to see?” she asked.

Bridesmaids' bottoms: This summer, wedding photos began surfacing of bridesmaids posing with their dresses hitched up so that their underwear was revealed. Soon, similar photos began popping up all over social-media sites. Even here, Post leaves the final say to you.

“They certainly aren't shy,” she said. “This is up to you and your personal style. Just remember, if you are tagged in that photo, it will pop up and be associated with you. Think about if you would want a future boss or someone to see that.”

The garter belt thing: The tradition of the groom diving under the skirt of his bride just to remove her garter belt with his teeth is as crude as it sounds. “I'm not a fan of it,” she said. “But that is a personal opinion and not an Emily Post opinion.”

Overtanning: There's nothing like a good bronzed glow, but... “It is really easy for people to get carried away,” she said. “Ask a girlfriend if you've gone too far down the orange brick road.”

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