Pastin: Retirement means checking off items on bucket list
Life is a series of adjustments, and retirement definitely qualifies.
Retirees move from the work world — with ingrained routines, comfort zones, trusted colleagues, work schedules, deadlines and acceptable shortcuts — to . . . well, like nothing they've ever experienced before.
It's a shock to the system. Almost surreal. Enough to make you want to make friends on Facebook, connect to LinkedIn, twixt a tweet, or something like that, or use Instagram or MySpace.
This is sensory overload, the techno equivalent of bloating.
Take two Pepcid ACs and text message me in the morning about whether you will be available for bocce ball at the Knights of Columbus Tuesday afternoon.
Damn it, I miss a hectic schedule, deadline pressure and my stomach in knots.
Now that I have so much time on my hands, what do I do?
I create a bucket list, naturally. In no order of priority, here we go:
• Learn how to resolve computer glitches without calling the Trib technical department.
• Convince township officials to do something about nearby derelict properties with waist-high grass in the front yard and a suspected critter infestation.
• Stay up late, sleep in and have meals whenever you wish.
• Open a restaurant called PittsBURGERS, where the speciality is . . . you guessed it.
Serve choice ground beef burgers on buttered and toasted Mancini rolls. In the meantime, Bubba's and Tessaro's will do just fine.
• Fly over a sporting event in a blimp. See the Steelers from a different perspective.
• Watch the sun set over the Pacific Ocean from high on a hill in San Diego.
• Lose 25 pounds without running, walking or exercise of any sort.
• Listen to every Steely Dan album, start to finish.
• Raise a Courage Lager at the Hog Penny Pub in Bermuda to sunshine and pink sand.
• Join “Bobo” Fay and his Finding Bigfoot team as they scour the boondocks for the legendary Sasquatch.
• Develop a discretionary income stream for trips to the shore, fine dining and lodging at impeccably tasteful, upscale hotels that would meet Anthony Melchiorri's rigid standards in “Hotel Impossible.”
• Enjoy your favorite pizza joints. My top five are Lou Malnati's in Chicago; Cortese in Binghamton, N.Y.; Brozzetti's in Johnson City, N.Y.; Numero Uno on Wilshire Boulevard in Beverly Hills, Calif.; and Fiori's off West Liberty Avenue here in the ‘Burgh.
• Best Italian appetizer: pappardelle and radicchio at Giovanni's on the Hill in St. Louis.
• Edible indigenous treats: spiedies in upstate New York, toasted ravioli in St. Louis and crabcakes in and around Baltimore and Ocean City.
These treasures are often imitated but never duplicated.
Bob Pastin is a retired editor for Trib Total Media. He lives in McKees Rocks. Reach him at email@example.com.