Mustache institute announces historic move to Pittsburgh
Pittsburgh is America's Most Mustached City.
The American Mustache Institute bestowed the moniker on Friday, uprooting its corporate headquarters from St. Louis to the Steel City.
Institute President Aaron Xavier Perlut of St. Louis maintained a stiff upper lip while handing over control of the group to Mt. Washington resident Adam Paul Causgrove, a certified doctor of nuclear mustache-ology, during a tongue-in-cheek ceremony at City Hall.
“We feel that our message is better received if we use humor,” said Perlut, 42, who in real life runs a St. Louis digital marketing agency. “The first thing that struck me about Adam was he has ability to grasp the kind of humor we use.”
Causgrove, 29, the AMI's 2012 Robert Goulet Memorial Mustached American of the Year, promised Pittsburgh would experience an unparalleled economic boom with the arrival of the institute, which will set up shop in Causgrove's home.
“A $1.3 trillion economic windfall will come to Pittsburgh in the next year,” said Causgrove, a University of Pittsburgh grant administrator in real life. “Whether that will be below $1.3 trillion or above it, we don't know yet.”
He said Pittsburgh has a history of embracing the AMI's “sexually dynamic Mustached American lifestyle,” citing such mustached luminaries as Andrew Carnegie, George Westinghouse, Willie Stargell and Rocky Bleier.
But membership in the organization is not limited to men, he said, counting City Councilwoman Theresa Kail-Smith among the faithful.
“All the men in my family have no facial hair, but all the women do,” Kail-Smith said. “I intend to be the first woman to take the crown from Adam Causgrove.”
Causgrove also counts his fiancée, Chelsea Banks, 26, of Mt. Washington as an AMI member in good standing. The blonde, bare-faced Banks wore a T-shirt at the ceremony that read, “Mustaches are Awesome.”
“Her father has a heck of a mustache, so the mustache is in her blood,” Causgrove said. “Not every mustache is on the face. Some are worn on the heart.”
Causgrove said the AMI will move its 'Stache Bash annual charity benefit to Pittsburgh this year.
“We've been oppressed for decades now since the clean-shaven lifestyle has taken over,” he said.
Bob Bauder is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. He can be reached at 412-765-2312 or email@example.com.