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Bloomberg's hoplophobia

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By Dimitri Vassilaros
Sunday, Jan. 8, 2006

Big Media missed the story hidden in plain sight on New Year's Day. New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg's inaugural speech -- the part saying the city's most urgent challenge is ending the threat of guns and the violence they do -- was a cry for help.

Mr. Bloomberg is a victim of hoplophobia: the irrational fear of guns.

Hoplophobia is a tongue-in-cheek neurosis "discovered" in 1962 by firearms instructor Jeff Cooper to mock those who think guns have free will. Or any will for that matter.

Bloomberg said that in the last few weeks, police officers had been struck down by "gunfire" on the streets. He wants to rid the streets of guns and protect the citizens from the "scourge of guns."

If the homicidal guns are arrested, look for them to be handcuffed and made to do the perp walk on the way to arraignment. When they are found guilty -- not "if" since there is no presumption of innocence for firearms in New York City -- Bloomberg surely will demand the maximum punishment at the harshest state prison with no hope of parole.

Bloomberg had more red meat in his speech for his supporters.

"This is a national threat, one that crosses city lines and state boundaries. To meet it we must and we will make common cause with our fellow Americans. We will take our message to Albany, to Washington and to every capital of every state that permits guns to flow freely across its borders."

And if that does not work, look for him to buy a voodoo doll in the shape of a gun and a gross of stickpins.

Was this otherwise rational man traumatized by a gun in his youth• Was he channel-flipping looking for Huckleberry Hound cartoons when he stumbled upon the classic opening scene of "Have Gun -- Will Travel" when Richard Boone as Paladin draws his gun from its holster and aims it at the camera?

Since "gunfire" killed those officers, that might explain why Bloomberg did not say a word -- not a word -- about punishing the criminals who had a hand in the crimes. However, he definitely wants to punish "all of those who possess and traffic in these instruments of death."

"And to those who distort our laws, and aid and abet hardened criminals, know this: We will not rest until we secure all the tools we need to protect New Yorkers from the scourge ... ."

Does anyone seriously believe he forgot to add "illegally" before "possess" and "traffic?"

Bloomberg also did not mention that the Sullivan Act in 1911 -- a draconian gun-control law for New York City -- does not seem to stop "gunfire" although it does stop most law-abiding citizens from legally owning arms.

Did Bloomberg bother to read Article 2, Section 4, of the New York Civil Rights Law, which states "A well regulated militia being necessary to the security of a free state, the right of the people to keep and bear arms cannot be infringed"?

Does he not understand that every other state constitution clearly acknowledges the right of the people to have guns?

He does not seem to understand or care about the rule of law unless it involves gun owners and dealers. But don't blame Bloomberg. He too is a victim. It has to be the hoplophobia.

Blame inanimate objects or irrational fear whenever criminals or politicians ignore the law. And then offer the gods a sacrificial lamb to save us from the scourge of guns.

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