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Ah, if only: Apply disclaimer rules to government, too

| Saturday, June 29, 2013, 9:00 p.m.

Ah, if only the same federal government that requires pharmaceutical companies to include long-winded disclaimers about their respective drugs' side effects itself was required to include disclaimers about the side effects of its “beneficent” programs.

Consider Medicaid expansion. The Obama administration touts it as the right thing for the states to do to give those in need the care they “deserve.”

Disclaimer: “Initial federal government subsides will dry up, resulting in higher state taxes. Uncompensated-care reimbursements for hospitals will shrink. Private health insurance markets will cease to exist. Those not truly in need will be able to offload their costs to taxpayers. Recipients will be subjected to longer waits, worse care and difficultly finding a physician who accepts Medicaid. Those experiencing a dejection of longer than four months should consult a physician immediately.”

Consider ObamaCare itself, the Affordable Care Act, that, in true Orwellian fashion, turns “affordable” into a euphemism for “more expensive.” Yet, it offers “Better care for lower costs,” touts Organizing for Action, President Obama's shell subsidiary for socialized medicine.

Disclaimer: “Costs will be higher. Care is rationed. Some employers will lay off employees to meet coverage thresholds. Economic growth will slow. Because of increased compliance costs, some physicians may not participate. Others will retire, leaving a physician shortage and creating a shortage of available appointments and longer waiting room times. Those experiencing a dejection of longer than four months should consult a physician immediately. Admission of dichotomy not included.”

Consider the president's proposed new climate plan. It will preclude the construction of new coal-fired power plants and shutter existing coal-fired facilities while placing severe new “emissions” (think CO2) restrictions even on natural gas-fired plants.

Disclaimer: “Will severely retard the economy on multiple levels by significantly raising the cost of electricity. Heating and cooling costs will rise. Will cause job losses in all energy-related sectors, including truck, barge and rail transportation. Taxes will increase to help offset the cost of bolstering hardly reliable energy sources — solar, wind, chipmunks on running wheels — promoted by political cronies. Those experiencing a dejection of more than four months should not consult a physician (they've all retired) and should not count on unemployment compensation (there's nobody left working to pay into the now-bankrupt fund).”

The new disclaimer rules also should apply to state programs. Think of the deal to remove the wholesale gasoline sales tax cap, giving Pennsylvania the highest gasoline tax in the United States. This is the tax increase that the insufferable asses in Harrisburg insist is not a tax increase. They also swear on a stack of per diems and other perks that wholesalers won't pass the cost along to consumers.

Disclaimer: “Will increase the cost to transport anything and everything by motor vehicle. Will discourage new businesses to relocate to the Keystone State. Additional revenues will be squandered on transportation projects required to pay a 28 percent premium to the organized-labor cartel. Will cause a spike in blood pressure and bulging eyes and lead to Empty Wallet Syndrome. Those experiencing such symptoms should consult their ballot box at the next available opportunity.”

Colin McNickle is Trib Total Media's director of editorial pages (412-320-7836 or

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