The Thursday wrap
By The Tribune-Review
Published: Wednesday, April 17, 2013, 9:00 p.m.
The loonies at the Westboro Baptist Church say the Boston Marathon bombings were ordered up by God as a punishment for same-sex marriage. And it says it plans to protest at the funerals of the bombings' victims. Dear God: May we order up a lightning strike, coordinates to come? ... Rep. Bobby Rush, D-Ill., says he wants fellow members of Congress to stop referring to “undocumented foreign nationals” as “illegal immigrants.” The former member of the Black Panthers knows better — they're illegal aliens. ... Fox News reports that South Florida residents are being warned about the rise in giant African land snails. They can grow as big as rats and are fond of stucco. Hmm, sounds like a property reassessment fella we once knew. ... Sayeth New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg: “I would argue that if you want to sell your gun to your son, maybe you have a problem in your family. Why don't you just give (it to him). ... (I)f you have a commercial transaction of $100 with your son, there's something wrong with your family.” The mayor might be out of touch if ... Ahem. ... The Pentagon, stung by an outcry from the truly battlefield-hardened, has canceled its plans for a Distinguished Warfare Medal for pilots of unmanned drones. But, hey, if one of these very talented cyber pilots figures out a way to take out the Westboro Baptist Church, there might be a medal in it for them after all. We're just sayin'.
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