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Saturday essay: Fridge follies

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Friday, July 12, 2013, 8:57 p.m.
 

The refrigerator purchased the proverbial “just a few years ago” actually is pushing 15 years old. And it has seen better days.

The ice maker quit working, conveniently, a few weeks after the manufacturer's warranty expired. Surely the retailer trips a switch that starts a timer to disable it in week 55 — if you don't buy the extended warranty for the modest sum of half the fridge's price.

The “sturdy” door shelves “that can store gallon jugs of milk and juice quite easily and most securely” cracked quite easily and soon. Replacements seemed to cost more than a compact car. No glue in the universe could fix them. But duct tape did. And, oh, how pretty.

The same high-quality plastic (ahem) was used on the rails of the crisper and meat drawers. Each set of rails, now broken, leave the drawers sitting askew.

All things considered, including a failing grade for utility and a C for cooling, this fridge is kaput. A new fancy-schmancy model arrives today. Stainless steel. French doors. Onboard computer. OnStar (kidding). And, you can bet, new and improved high-quality interior plastic. (Ahem.)

The salesman pushed an “extended” warranty (for about the same price as a half-ounce of gold), one which oddly goes into effect immediately, not even waiting for the manufacturer's one-year warranty to expire.

Which suggests a modest investment in duct tape futures would be wise.

— Colin McNickle

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