Ah, another Thanksgiving Eve. And as has become our tradition, a few pointers for first-time turkey-roasters everywhere:
• You must thaw the bird before attempting to roast it.
• You must remove the plastic wrapping.
• You also must remove the bag of giblets.
• If you're planning on eating at 3 p.m. on Thursday, you cannot place a 17-pound turkey in the oven at 1 p.m. and expect it to be done.
• And the logic does not follow that if your stuffed bird of said poundage requires about 4 1⁄2 hours to roast at 325 degrees, it will cook in 2 1⁄4 hours at 650 degrees.
• You must actually turn the oven on to roast Tom.
• You might think it entertaining to parade around your house with your thawed turkey to show your guests its impressive wingspan. But you'll be quite embarrassed when the bird slips from your grasp and your rather large dog makes flight out the door and down the street with your main course.
• And, finally, that age-old question of whether to truss or not to truss your turkey: only if you expect it to carry a keg of beer into the house for a pre-dinner party. Ahem.
Bon appetit, everyone. Good luck with that bird. And Happy Thanksgiving.
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