Ah, another Thanksgiving Eve. And as has become our tradition, a few pointers for first-time turkey-roasters everywhere:
• You must thaw the bird before attempting to roast it.
• You must remove the plastic wrapping.
• You also must remove the bag of giblets.
• If you're planning on eating at 3 p.m. on Thursday, you cannot place a 17-pound turkey in the oven at 1 p.m. and expect it to be done.
• And the logic does not follow that if your stuffed bird of said poundage requires about 4 1⁄2 hours to roast at 325 degrees, it will cook in 2 1⁄4 hours at 650 degrees.
• You must actually turn the oven on to roast Tom.
• You might think it entertaining to parade around your house with your thawed turkey to show your guests its impressive wingspan. But you'll be quite embarrassed when the bird slips from your grasp and your rather large dog makes flight out the door and down the street with your main course.
• And, finally, that age-old question of whether to truss or not to truss your turkey: only if you expect it to carry a keg of beer into the house for a pre-dinner party. Ahem.
Bon appetit, everyone. Good luck with that bird. And Happy Thanksgiving.
TribLive commenting policy
You are solely responsible for your comments and by using TribLive.com you agree to our Terms of Service.
We moderate comments. Our goal is to provide substantive commentary for a general readership. By screening submissions, we provide a space where readers can share intelligent and informed commentary that enhances the quality of our news and information.
While most comments will be posted if they are on-topic and not abusive, moderating decisions are subjective. We will make them as carefully and consistently as we can. Because of the volume of reader comments, we cannot review individual moderation decisions with readers.
We value thoughtful comments representing a range of views that make their point quickly and politely. We make an effort to protect discussions from repeated comments either by the same reader or different readers.
We follow the same standards for taste as the daily newspaper. A few things we won't tolerate: personal attacks, obscenity, vulgarity, profanity (including expletives and letters followed by dashes), commercial promotion, impersonations, incoherence, proselytizing and SHOUTING. Don't include URLs to Web sites.
We do not edit comments. They are either approved or deleted. We reserve the right to edit a comment that is quoted or excerpted in an article. In this case, we may fix spelling and punctuation.
We welcome strong opinions and criticism of our work, but we don't want comments to become bogged down with discussions of our policies and we will moderate accordingly.
We appreciate it when readers and people quoted in articles or blog posts point out errors of fact or emphasis and will investigate all assertions. But these suggestions should be sent via e-mail. To avoid distracting other readers, we won't publish comments that suggest a correction. Instead, corrections will be made in a blog post or in an article.