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Heyl: Columnist's readers fill up the inbox

| Thursday, Dec. 26, 2013, 11:47 p.m.

An uncluttered inbox probably is an unattainable goal, but I'm going to give it a try.

I'm devoting today's space to catching up on reader correspondence. As always, I appreciate hearing from all of you. (That's true even if you're not some overseas stranger offering to split an $11 million inheritance if I only will help deposit it safely in an American bank. Or Mr. Mwbque, who has a unique business proposition for me and has requested I contact him immediately.)

Now then, on to actual messages received recently from actual readers:

Kudos to you, you have by far written the best article describing our school district's idiotness (if that's even a real word) hahaha.

--M.H.

Thanks for the kind words. You don't happen to teach in that district, do you? Just curious.

(Your column) once again gave us big smiles (and) made our day. We're sure many others share our sediments.

--B.D.

Thank you. I never realized I was so popular among geologists. Now that I know, I'll certainly try to devote more columns to sedimentary-related topics such as trace fossils, mud rocks, digenetic structures and, of course, seismic stratigraphy.

In the not so distant past, men as well as women wore swimwear that covered the chest. How much further must our dress codes decline before our society says “enough”? How much longer will we strive for the privilege of being lewd, rude, crude and immodest while yet wondering what is becoming of us and why we are incapable of virtuous thought and conduct?

--D.R.

In all of my years as a columnist, that's easily the most passionate communiqué I've received regarding overly revealing swimwear. How much longer will people strive for the privilege of being lewd, rude, crude and immodest, you ask? Probably until “South Park” finally ends its run or Kardashians no longer roam the earth.

I read an article you wrote about hedgehogs possibly being lifted off the Pennsylvania (pet) ban list. Can you give me any new info on this? I am trying to get the ban lifted. They are harmless, small, loving creatures.

--J.J.

Unfortunately, I suspect the ban will remain until these harmless, small, loving creatures learn not to turn mean when they sip their whiskey.

What a bunch of bull crap you wrote. You, like all other people, have no knowledge of post office functions. I am a retired mailman and highly resented your article. Find out the truth before you write your garbage. You lie like all the rest of the people that have no knowledge of what's going on.

--D.K.

Ah. I see some retired postal service employees can hold their whiskey about as well as hedgehogs.

Eric Heyl is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. He can be reached at 412-320-7857 or eheyl@tribweb.com.

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