State officials on webcamera would be a site to see
The enthrallment over the eagles eventually will subside.
What does the state game commission do then?
Since December, the commission and PixController Inc. of Murrysville have partnered to provide live webcam broadcasts of a bald eagle nest in the Pittsburgh community of Hays.
To say the saga of a pair of bald eagles attempting to raise their three eaglets in a crazy, unpredictable world has been a huge hit is an understatement. The webcam has attracted national attention and received more than a million views.
But realistically, there are only so many times that a person can watch eaglets feasting on squirrel parts provided by Papa Eagle before the thrill diminishes. That's the nature of entertainment.
Even “How I Met Your Mother” didn't last forever.
The game commission should start to plan what it might webcast when interest in the eagles inevitably wanes. Thankfully, Pennsylvania has no shortage of fascinating wild creatures that could be observed in their natural habitats.
• Wolf Cam: Though definitely not for the squeamish, this cam would follow Tom Wolf, the multimillionaire frontrunner for the Democratic gubernatorial nomination, as he preys on other Democratic gubernatorial candidates by savagely outspending them.
• Corbett Cam: Placed discreetly in his Harrisburg mansion near the banks of the Susquehanna River, this cam would show Gov. Tom Corbett collecting branches, stones and sticks to build a dam. (Elected officials instinctively behave like beavers when it's necessary to construct effective barriers between themselves and catastrophically low polling numbers.)
• Turnpike Commission Cam: This cam would show commission officials compulsively using their front and back claws to dig absurdly deep holes in the ground. They plow deeply to provide safe shelter for themselves and the commission's $8 billion debt.
• Liquor Control Board Cam: If tradition holds true to form, viewers would be treated to the sight of cuddly LCB officials playfully rolling around in the mud of their own ethical lapses.
They would be observed burying golf trips, dinners and other offerings from LCB vendors to hide them from other greedy creatures of the wood — oh, and state Ethics Commission investigators.
• Corrupt Cam: This cam would follow the activities of a gaggle of state lawmakers thriving and breeding in their morally challenged ecosystem. Viewers would marvel at their ability to gorge themselves on the cash and gifts they exchange for votes, yet still be able to easily elude their natural predators — law enforcement officials.
• Kane Cam: Viewers undoubtedly would be amused observing Pennsylvania Attorney General Kathleen Kane clumsily falling down on the job, letting seemingly corrupt legislators slip from her grasp and then hibernating.
When she finally awakes, viewers would watch her scurry frantically for plausible explanations as to why she failed to prosecute apparent criminal activities.
Eric Heyl is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. He can be reached at 412-320-7857 or firstname.lastname@example.org.