TribLIVE

| Opinion/The Review


 
Larger text Larger text Smaller text Smaller text | Order Photo Reprints

Ban everything

Daily Photo Galleries

Saturday, Dec. 29, 2012, 8:04 p.m.
 

Ban everything

The era of personal responsibility is over.

Therefore, I suggest the government ban forks and spoons to prevent obesity. Ban steak knives, too, because red meat is bad for you and these things wound and kill people.

All violent movies, books and video games need to be banned or at least edited (sorry, you fans of Tom Cruise, murder mystery books and “Call of Duty,” that's just the way it goes).

Last but certainly not least, the government needs to ban automobiles. Those pesky four-wheel things crash into each other, go the wrong way, fail to obey speed limits and cause thousands of deaths and millions of dollars in health and property costs.

I'm sure fellow citizens can identify other objects that hurt us, such as matches, lighters, scissors, newspapers/magazines (paper cuts!), etc.

Jim Disantis

Freeport

 

 
 


Show commenting policy

Most-Read Letters

  1. Slots payments’ source
  2. Unhappy returns
  3. Low blow
  4. Gas industry obfuscates the truth
  5. School funding
  6. Out of ‘other people’s money’
  7. An Obama explanation
  8. Ex-Im & Westinghouse
  9. Wolf & ObamaCare
  10. Expanding their options
  11. Diabetic shoe access
Subscribe today! Click here for our subscription offers.