Published: Saturday, Dec. 29, 2012, 8:04 p.m.
The era of personal responsibility is over.
Therefore, I suggest the government ban forks and spoons to prevent obesity. Ban steak knives, too, because red meat is bad for you and these things wound and kill people.
All violent movies, books and video games need to be banned or at least edited (sorry, you fans of Tom Cruise, murder mystery books and “Call of Duty,” that's just the way it goes).
Last but certainly not least, the government needs to ban automobiles. Those pesky four-wheel things crash into each other, go the wrong way, fail to obey speed limits and cause thousands of deaths and millions of dollars in health and property costs.
I'm sure fellow citizens can identify other objects that hurt us, such as matches, lighters, scissors, newspapers/magazines (paper cuts!), etc.
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