Regarding the news story “LCB chairman favors dropping in-house brands” (Feb. 17 and TribLIVE.com): The idea of discontinuing the LCB's “private label” brands so as not to compete with industry-branded wines and spirits has merit. But I suggest that with a shot of rebranding, sales of the LCB's house labels could reach new heights.
The trick is to create brands that resonate with Pennsylvanians. Current labels like Copper Sun and TableLeaf do not. So, I submit the following for consideration:
• Yinzersnap — In the black-and-gold bottle, the perfect tailgating schnapps.
• Corbett Falls — Table wines that go down quickly, like the governor's polling numbers.
• Flying Penguin — Named for the state's premier hockey rivalry; blood-red, smooth on ice.
• Single-Lane Road — Sloe gin with a touch of orange. Don't drink and drive!
• Marcellus Wells — Deep, full-bodied wines with earthy undertones. Great for your next fracking party.
• Free Lion — Bitters, with hints of wormwood and sour grapes, from Centre County.
• Bonusgate — Hefty and brazen, these signature wines are sure to end up behind bars all over the state.
Since there will be oceanfront property in Wilmerding before the commonwealth privatizes liquor sales, what have we to lose?
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