The news story “Privacy concerns soar as drones patrol U.S. skies” (April 28 and TribLIVE.com) gave me nightmares.
I dreamt of a “Dr. Evil”-like President Obama indulging his creepy fascination with these mechanized peeping Toms — the president and “Mini-Obama” leering at a wall of flat-screen feeds showing places from Aspinwall to Zelienople.
I awoke, shuddering in fear. After a soothing medicinal beverage, I collapsed into a tortured vision of our skies shrouded with drones thick as a murder of crows. I heard the anguish of angry yinzers dialing the Department of Homeland Security switchboard: “Listen, hon. Git yer drone ahta my yard now ! It's messin' up my satellite TV. Don't make me come aht dere with my .22!”
Again I woke, drank, and slept again. This time, the dream was sweet and soothing, as Pittsburgh rose to smite the sky snoops. In rolled the clouds, as they do nearly 306 days per year here. Thwarted, the drones descended below the cloud deck, where some crashed into PPG Place's mirrored walls, while others were picked off by the city's peregrine falcons.
The remainder, disoriented by the functioning Point State Park fountain — a landmark not in their GPS — met their doom by ground fire. From Zambelli.