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Who wants war

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Contact Colin McNickle (412-320-7836 or cmcnickle@tribweb.com).

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Friday, Sept. 20, 2013, 8:57 p.m.
 

Here we go again. The “masters of war” are on the loose. They are on a fast train named “Destination Syria.” They all have gas masks stapled to their knees. And their train had trouble leaving the station — they are now weeks late. But there must be war — they need it.

Without war, how will they test the latest “J-Dam Suzy 4007/21” bunker-buster bomb? And,without war, how can they test the “Go7-6Swarm-Qq0-Lettuce-336” cruise missile? And what about the “440-GoDeep-slot right-121212gF-$BigDaddy” thermal imaging, voice-activated, heat-seeking air cannon No. 12.41 ? The masters of war have their own language; only hardened criminals from Ethiopia can understand them.

A gas attack in Syria? Yes — but it was weeks ago! Where were the masters then? Maybe trying to hide all the Agent Orange canisters in their caves.

Lock them in their caves and kennels, give them 100 doggie treats and a bottle of water each week. Then, insist that they sit down at a round table with 20 “masters of peace.” Let's see what happens.

George Tchirkow

Mt. Lebanon

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