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Contact Colin McNickle (412-320-7836 or cmcnickle@tribweb.com).

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Friday, Aug. 8, 2014, 8:57 p.m.
 

Mail call at my place, the USS Neversail, is unrelenting in solicitations for contributions for myriad causes. One such tale of woe was from the mother of a private serving an 18-year prison sentence for shooting and killing two Iraqi insurgents, as ordered, in a 2006 engagement with al-Qaida. Money is needed for her son's hearing before the Clemency and Parole Board. If not a hoax, and thinking it appropriate to bring to the attention of the commander in chief, I forwarded the solicitation to the White House.

I took advantage of this opportunity to tactfully chide President Obama. I wrote that also appropriate for his consideration is the release of Marine Sgt. Andrew Tahmooressi, imprisoned in Mexico. I enclosed a “Piranha Club” cartoon displaying ways to beat global warming, e.g., going to work in your shorts, filling your underwear with frozen vegetables, getting a job hanging briskets in a meat locker and sticking Popsicles up your nose. I captioned the cartoon “Pass to all global warming alarmists” and added, “You have a sense of humor, so enjoy the cartoon.” I also added the thought of banning corn ethanol's invasion of gasoline.

I briefly mentioned that the ISIS threat in Iraq dictates approval of the Keystone XL pipeline. And I let the president know he had misquoted Chief Sitting Bull, who said, “Let us put our minds together and see what life will make for our children” — words that should be inscribed within the U.S. Capitol's rotunda.

I don't anticipate a response or scrutiny by the IRS and NSA, but then again, who knows?

Clay Stover

West Newton

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