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The Birdie turns down baseball gig

| Thursday, Oct. 4, 2012, 12:11 a.m.

Breaking news: The Birdie almost became “The Parrot.”

This week's big Root Sports televised game between Franklin Regional and Knoch on Thursday night got the A-K's pleasant football pheasant thinking about his near-career change, which had been a secret.

“Root shows enough of that other bird, that Prima donna Pirate Parrot,” The Birdie said. “Well, brace yourself, folks. That almost was me. Those fan-duping Pirates called me up a few years ago and asked if I'd be interested in the gig.

“I think the guy's name was Neal. Said I didn't need to wear the costume, he'd pay me in huge wads of bubble gum and I'd get discounts on playoff tickets. I told him to take a hike.”

Turns out, The Birdie has a clause in his contract that prohibits him from working any jobs that aren't football-related.

“Well, that includes replacement referee, too,” he said. “Although a ref once grabbed me out of the press box and used me as a penalty flag.”

The Birdie is glad baseball season in Pittsburgh finally is over.

“Face it my friends, this is a football town,” he said. “It's reality. I mean, let's see, baseball has a goofy Parrot dancing on dugouts and acting like an idiot. Football has me. Sure, I had a bad week (8-5) but at least I was above .500. I can't figure some of our teams. It's like trying to unwrap a CD with some of you guys.”

The Birdie offers his Week 6 predictions.

Thursday

Franklin Regional at Knoch

An exquisite rematch from last year's semifinals. Franklin Regional gets payback.

Franklin Regional, 22-14

Friday

Peters Township at Plum

Peters Township's line will hold its ground.

Peters Township, 21-7

Fox Chapel at North Hills

Fox Chapel would have a better chance at beating the Indians in soccer.

North Hills, 24-13

Norwin at Kiski Area

Kiski Area has more offensive weapons. and they'll shine.

Kiski Area, 22-16

Derry at Highlands

Hard-to-figure Highlands is primed to make it back-to-back wins.

Highlands, 23-15

Ford City at Kittanning

Classic rivalry game won't disappoint. Dust clears to reveal ...

Kittanning, 17-7

Freeport at Burrell

Considered by some the A-K's game of the year. We'll see if Freeport shows up.

Burrell, 27-23

Valley at Yough

Valley has shown improvement but will have a tough time on the road.

Yough, 20-14

Northgate at Leechburg

Northgate used to be a painless game; now the Flames are torching teams.

Northgate, 28-8

Shenango at Riverview

Riverview has a chance under the lights, but needs to finish drives.

Shenango, 16-9

Springdale at Apollo-Ridge

Apollo-Ridge has been waiting five years to get a rematch with the mighty Dynamos.

Apollo-Ridge, 22-20

Saturday

Deer Lakes at Summit Academy

Summit Academy should be able to break plays on the Lancers' defense.

Summit Academy, 25-12

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