LaBar: Hulk Hogan wants to fight Brock Lesnar?
Hulk, you win, I'll give you the attention you want because this is all too funny to resist.
Hulk Hogan has been on WWE programming lately in his ambassador role. Two weeks ago on Monday Night RAW, a birthday celebration was thrown for Hogan in which WWE had Brock Lesnar crash the party. It made sense seeing as the company was six days from SummerSlam, and Lesnar was challenging for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.
Lesnar went to SummerSlam and won the title in one of the most brutal professional wrestling matches I've ever seen. Hogan's been telling TMZ and other media outlets that he's upset because when Lesnar crashed his party, he broke script by grabbing the microphone and saying, “Party's over grandpa.”
Yes, he called Hogan a grandpa. Hogan is above the age of 60 and has looked like it since he was 35.
Hogan is now telling anyone who will listen that if Lesnar gets in his way, there is going to be trouble. He's also telling anyone listening that he can do one more match.
The comedy in this is tremendous. Hogan will never shy away from a potential payday. Let's hope that's what he's trying for and not a true fight.
If Hogan thought challenging The Pope could possibly be booked for a pay-per-view main event, you better believe he would be cutting promos in Italy.
Hogan's rants are either a shoot and he's delusional, or are a work and he's delusional.
Hogan's physical health seems like it would struggle to put on a Hogan work-rate level match against Heath Slater. No offense, Heath.
Lesnar gave 16 vicious suplexes to John Cena, half of which looked like they could have broken Cena's neck. That's 16 more than Hogan could endure.
Even imagining Hogan trying to talk people in the building to see the abuse of a senior citizen is comical. His promo skills on the microphone aren't what they used to be. Lucky for him he gets away keeping the sunglasses on to avoid his eyes telling the story.
“Sunday, Sunday, Sunday — come see Hulkamania's biggest challenge ever at the Silverdome. See the epic event on the WWE Network for only $9.99.”
If Hogan were to fight Lesnar, we would be better off letting Paul Heyman do the talking for each in a one-man show with sock puppets.
Speaking of talking, think about the conversation that's happened or soon to happen between Hogan and Vince McMahon.
Vince: “Terry, let's pull back on the comments about Brock.”
Hogan: “Okay, brother. You think it's too early to start the promotion for WrestleMania? Speaking of that, I think Brooke would do a great job singing the America The Beautiful there.”
Vince: “Uh, I don't know if that really fits into our WrestleMania plans.”
Hogan: “Let's think about it some more. I could come in as a surprise entrant in the Royal Rumble, win it and really create some buzz. You could even do a WWE Network special at my restaurant in Tampa.”
Vince: “Hulk, I really think you could best serve us going to Germany. After all, we just launched the WWE Network there.”
Hogan: “Germany? Okay, brother, maybe that could work. In fact, I got a great idea that could draw money there.”
Vince: “Umm, okay. Hulk, sorry, I have a call coming in from CM Punk. I'll get back to you later.”
Justin LaBar is a staff writer for Trib Total Media. He can be reached at 412-320-7949 or firstname.lastname@example.org.