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Football

Birdie bounces back like Plum in Week 4

| Wednesday, Sept. 24, 2014, 11:33 p.m.

The Birdie

Last week: 9-3 (.750) ·Season: 31-15 (.674) Twitter: TheBirdie_VND

The Birdie bounced back from his early-season slump by winning nine of 12 games in Week 4, likening his three losses to tax write-offs that he'll get back later (brushes his shoulder).

Suddenly, he has his mojo back. His bravado-levels are off the charts, and he's running around desks in the office like one of those new-age Apollo-Ridge quarterbacks.

“I feel as confident as the Highlands cheerleaders on the PNC Park scoreboard, or the Kiski Area band at a competition,” he said. “I am running other pigskin predictors over like that big Deer Lakes running back. I feel like I could score more touchdowns than Duane Brown.”

He's also feeling better because he has his Chevette back, and hopes to get a good parking spot at this week's big Apollo-Ridge at Highlands game.

“The ride's running on peanut butter fuel and old-fashioned pride and guts — like its driver,” Birdie said. “Highlands better give me a nice front-row spot and a seat in the press box. Press boxes are for press folks only, right?”

As for the losses last week:

Plum still baffles the A-K Valley expert, having knocked off Norwin and then peppering him with neh-neh, we-told-you-so tweets. He called Knoch's loss to Gateway a fluke and didn't expect Deer Lakes to run over Burrell.

“Knoch lost on a tipped-pass touchdown,” Birdie said. “Knoch's defense is very good. Just a bad break. Even I can't predict those. And Deer Lakes moving the football that well is something no one has predicted. Ever.

“Plum. Oh Plum. The PIAA ruled out targeting so I must flag you for 15. No hitting above the shoulder pads. I am a defenseless receiver of your rhetoric.”

As for Plum and its snide comments, the Birdie offers the same answer he did to Kittanning last season when he picked against the Wildcats as they kept winning — and winning.

“You're welcome.”

Now, here's what old yellow has to say about Week 5:

Friday

Apollo-Ridge (4-0, 4-0) at Highlands (4-0, 4-0)

The Game of the Year in Week 5? Who made the schedule? This matchup is like a two-headed monster.

Highlands, 28-27

Freeport (3-1, 3-1) at Kittanning (2-2, 2-2)

Freeport has a better record than Kittanning? Who knew? Look for Kittanning to even things up.

Kittanning, 35-20

Deer Lakes (1-3, 1-3) at Valley (2-2, 2-2)

Both teams have momentum, so this game will be much better than you'd expect.

Valley, 22-20

Shady Side Academy (3-1, 3-1) at Ford City (1-3, 1-3)

Shady Side Academy's defense gave up seven touchdowns — to one player. It won't give up half that many to one team this week.

Shady Side Academy, 30-13

West Shamokin (0-4, 0-4) at Burrell (0-4, 0-4)

West Shamokin has moved the ball nicely against some strong teams. The Wolves finally break through.

West Shamokin, 19-16

Kiski Area (0-4, 0-3) at Plum (2-2, 2-1)

Kiski Area's defense is getting pushed around like a blocking sled. Plum will keep pushing for the TV guys.

Plum, 23-13

Canon-McMillan (0-4) at Fox Chapel (1-3)

The Foxes finally get to crack the window in a hot kitchen. Look for them to win a couple in a row.

Fox Chapel, 23-16

Knoch (2-2, 2-1) at Hampton (4-0, 3-0)

Knoch's defense will give the Talbots all they can handle, but the offense still isn't showing its full potential.

Hampton, 24-14

Frazier (4-0) at Leechburg (1-3)

Leechburg comes from a much tougher conference, but will fall just short at home. Save the Down Goes Frazier stuff.

Frazier, 21-12

Riverview (1-3, 0-3) at Clairton (4-0, 3-0)

Playing at Clairton is like accidentally wondering into a wolf's den. And the wolf is hungry.

Clairton, 63-6

Springdale (2-2, 2-2) at Jeannette (4-0, 4-0)

Jeannette has scored 207 points and that's second in the Eastern Conference. Clairton and Jeannette are hogging all the covers.

Jeannette, 42-12

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