U mad, bro? Steelers fans invent reasons to be angry. Pirates fans have easier time | TribLIVE.com
Breakfast With Benz

U mad, bro? Steelers fans invent reasons to be angry. Pirates fans have easier time

Tim Benz
Chaz Palla | Tribune-Review
The Steelers’ Eli Rogers arrives on a semi truck to camp Thursday, July 26, 2019 at Saint Vincent College.

In this week’s “U mad, bro?” some Steelers fans are mad about gender reveals. Others are angry about semi-trucks.

And Pirates fans are angry about everything.

And I mean, everything.

Somebody named Eli did not like how somebody else named Eli showed up to Steelers training camp.

Come on, now. That’s not fair. That’s a cheap shot. Eli Rogers was just having fun. And he is not going to lose his job to Ryan Switzer.

He’s going to lose it to Diontae Johnson.

Uncle Yinzer wasn’t impressed with JuJu Smith-Schuster’s role in a fan’s gender reveal at Saint Vincent College.

Just wait until the baby is born. Rogers is going to show up at that guy’s place of work with a truckload of cigars in his semi.

Uncle Mort has an interesting theory as to why the Pirates have collapsed.

“The Pirates unraveled in conjunction with Trevor Williams’ silly and unnecessary PATERNITY LEAVE, when he missed the most crucial start of the year! This gutless move has gone largely unreported by the ‘Burgh Baseball Writers’ WHY?”

Well, Mort, at 47-62, it’s probably because I don’t think anyone else besides you isolates any single start as being “crucial.”

Here’s an unsigned email from an angry Pirates fan.

“The Pirates ownership’s chief draw to the ballpark is the promotions.

To those who continue to waste their money on bobbleheads and T-shirt giveaways, they should also include a sample of Tums.

I refuse to spend any of my money on a perennial cellar-dweller until the team is sold to someone who truly cares.”

What if Bob Nutting sold the team to GlaxoSmithKline? They own Tums and are worth $107 billion.

I bet the Pirates could afford a better starting rotation with those guys in charge.

Although, I’d also wager that Neal Huntington would continue to implement the phrases “cost certainty” and “team control” out of habit.

Bobby paints a rosy picture for the future of the Pirates.

“It doesn’t matter what the Pirates do. Bell will only be here for a max of two more years because Scott Boras will take him to free agency in three years, knowing that they won’t let him walk away with no return.

(Gregory) Polanco, who cares? The second biggest contract mistake in Pirates history next to Jason Kendall. Never was, never will be.

(Starling) Marte will be 32 in two years and they will dump him before that happens. Twenty-five losing seasons out of the past 28. I used to go to 10-12 games a year. Not anymore.

Why do people still buy tickets?”

Um, the free Tums, I guess?

Wow. Check out my man, Bobby. That kind of unfettered pessimism and despair is usually reserved for the current team and its ineptitude. Yet, he’s already writing off 2022.

I’m going to hold out optimism until I see how they spend all that drug company cash.

David tweeted me after Yasiel Puig got involved in that Pirates-Reds fight on Tuesday.

I thought the ad hominem jab at Puig was going to be about the bad, blonde-dye-job mohawk. David went old school with a shot at his batting average.

I respect that choice.

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Tim Benz is a Tribune-Review staff writer. You can contact Tim at [email protected] or via Twitter. All tweets could be reposted. All emails are subject to publication unless specified otherwise.

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