When you get called only for a favor
I'm an 18-year-old guy who is heading into the last part of my senior year of high school. I got my driver's license a year-and-a-half ago. Not only that, I got my license and a new car. The car is not exactly new (it's a 2000 Saturn), but it runs great and had only one owner. I split the cost of it with my parents, and I am very happy that they were willing to do that.
So, here is my problem. Since I became a driver -- actually, since I turned 18 and didn't have to deal with a restricted license anymore -- I have become a lot more popular. I mean it. Kids that were not my friends have recently become my friends, since I have the ability to drive us to concerts, parties and other activities.
There are good and bad parts. It has been very good for my social life, but I wonder how much I am being used and if I am a friend only because I have a car.
Yesterday, I know I got used. I used to have this friend named Ashelynn. She's so hot that it hurts to look at her. I am not such a hot guy. I know it. We were friends until seventh grade when all these ninth-graders started paying attention to her. That was it for me. She kind of dumped me as a friend.
Well, yesterday she called to invite me to a party that was three towns away. That is, if I could drive us. I was an idiot and said yes. I had a terrible time because Ashelynn was clearing using me. Once we got there, she split.
I was so nice that I hung around until she was ready to leave, because no decent guy would leave a girl at a party without a way to leave. What's wrong with me?
Used, Used, Used
At least, you're not hurting for self-diagnosis.
Let me start out with a compliment. I want other guy readers to be aware of what happened at this party with Ashelynn. If you are a guy and you take a girl to a party, no matter what the reason -- no matter if you decide the girl has used you terribly -- it is your responsibility to get that girl home. Do not leave a girl stranded, for obvious reasons. In fact, don't leave anyone stranded. Thank you.
Now, to answer your question. I don't think there's anything wrong with you, although I do think you're letting yourself be taken advantage of in exchange for something that you feel is beneficial to you: friends or even the appearance of friends. I'm going to guess your social life wasn't so great until you got your license and car. And now it's a lot better.
I'm not going to take the easy road and tell you never to say yes when someone wants a ride somewhere. What I am going to say is that you are allowed to say "no." In fact, you can say, "No, sorry, I'm busy," even if you're only busy picking at a hangnail, if you catch my drift. Your car is an asset. Use it instead of being used, used, used.
I want to offer a tip to other kids whose parents are always yelling at them to turn down the TV: Use headphones. I am 15 and have to admit that I like to listen to the TV pretty loud.
Well, my parents gave me a set of wireless headphones for Christmas, and they have decided it's the best present they have ever given me.
-- Rock and Roll Girl
I agree with your parents. Household lives can be changed with wireless headphones or ones that plug into an earphone jack. I think that TV makers should put the transmitters right into the TV and sell them with a couple of headphone sets right in the box. Toshiba, are you listening?