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Time to give sexists a taste of their own medicine

| Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Next to walking into a neighborhood pharmacy and asking for jock itch spray or roach traps, buying birth control is one of life's more embarrassing shopping experiences. So when news emerged last month about religious fundamentalist pharmacists refusing to fill birth control prescriptions for women, well, ladies, I felt your pain.

Besides the arrogance of pharmacists who feel their personal religious beliefs should dictate their business practices, imagine the frustration women must feel when their private lives are called into question by those who are supposed to be objective, educated health care professionals.

While the courts and our voter-pandering lawmakers spend the next few trimesters struggling to find a solution to pharmacists playing Taliban warlord with their female customers, ladies, take heart.

If the courts refuse to do right and revoke the licenses of these drug store sexists - which is about as unlikely as government health plans covering the pill - it's only fair that female pharmacists should refuse to fill prescriptions for so-called male-enhancement drugs.

You know, all of those unbelievably seedy products advertised on TV with promises of teenage levels of lust for leering, middle-aged men• Well, see how fast the drug store chastity patrol changes their tune if men were to meet the same sort of organized resistance.

Imagine the tantrums the boys would throw if, say, on a typical Friday night, their local lady pharmacist simply shut them down. No condoms. No magic blue pills. No more extra-strength vitamin E tabs. Trust me, with men's desire for chemical enhancement covered by health insurance plans unlike female contraceptives, there would be riots.

Or try to visualize the scene in a drug store if, in the days just before a tenth anniversary cruise with the wife, guys entered the local druggists only to find their plans would include backgammon and HGTV, not late nights and bedside cigarettes. It wouldn't be pretty.

The old wives tale suggests the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach. But it doesn't take an old wife to know that, in the age of Cialas, Levitra Viagra and lord knows what else, the heart can be reached though other ways.

Besides, if it's pregnancy the guys are worried about, no one ever got pregnant playing backgammon.

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