Exorcising our demons
There's something scary happening in this country, my friends. And it ain't the Halloween costumes.
No, what's truly frightening is the way a once great holiday is being destroyed by liberals. Eviscerated of its original meaning like an 18-pound pumpkin.
Indeed, the same anti-religion forces who've conspired to take Christ out of Christmas have gone one step further:
They're trying to take hell out of Halloween.
And they must be stopped.
There was a time, you might recall, when Halloween was about exploring the dark side, about getting in touch with one's inner demons.
Or at least terrorizing the neighborhood with toilet paper and rotten eggs.
It's all about Fun Size candy bars and dressing up like Napoleon Dynamite, near as I can tell.
If, as cynics believe, Valentine's Day is merely a ploy by Hallmark to sell more greeting cards, then Halloween has been reduced to little more than an opportunity for Jo-Ann Fabrics to sell more decorative cornstalks. And, sadly, it seems like the customs many of us enjoyed as kids have been deemed "offensive," or even "criminal," by the political-correctness police on the left.
These days, traditions like vandalism and devil worship have taken a back seat to a G-rated brand of ghoulishness. Huge, glowing, inflatable spiders festively adorn suburban rooftops, and in many towns, the rickety, boarded-up haunted houses of our youth have been replaced by slick, Hollywood-style productions.
Even worse, many of these so-called "haunted houses" are staged by well-meaning community groups who give the proceeds to charity.
Is this really what Halloween is all about?
As usual, the liberals behind this movement are being aided by their cohorts in the mainstream media. The New York Times, in fact, has editorialized that Halloween should be abolished and replaced by something called "Spooky Season."
And if you think it's just a coincidence that Hollywood has made that limp-wristed Harry Potter the public face of sorcery, then you need to get your head out of the sand and start watching "The O'Reilly Factor."
Admittedly, a lot of folks aren't bothered by the crass commercialization of Halloween. And they couldn't care less that the Wal-Mart cashiers don't wish them a "Happy Halloween" as they stock up on candy corn.
What these heathens fail to realize is this:
There's a special place in hell for their kind.