Carolyn Hax stories, Page 2
Wife’s introvert husband hates her family’s visits
Dear Carolyn: I am struggling to balance my husband’s relationship with my family. My family adores him and wants to spend time with him. He acts fine with them, but is grumpy and angry with me. My husband is an introvert. I respect his needs and only ask him to...
Reporting an abusive therapist
Dear Carolyn: I was seeing a therapist for PTSD. This therapist laughed at me at inappropriate times, said weird things to me — including “f@&% off” — spent a lot of time bragging about himself, and said he couldn’t help me and made it sound like it was my fault....
Wife uses brother’s graduation as marital test
Carolyn Hax is away. The following first appeared on Oct. 29, 2004. Dear Carolyn: My wife and I (married one year) recently had a disagreement about whether I should have traveled to her brother’s graduation. Admittedly, I was probably wrong in not going. However, my wife did not make her...
Well-rested working parent or lazy bum?
Hi Carolyn, I work from home at a career I love that I built myself. I’m also the parent of two small children. And I have a paralyzing sense that I’m a lazy bum. This is despite the fact that I am by all (external) accounts a hardworking, productive person....
Thou shalt not covet thy ex’s life
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I just found out — through social media — that my ex from over a decade ago is expecting a baby with his lovely, perfect wife. He and I are friends at this point, but I have never been able to stop...
Friend who can’t read social cues? Be blunt
Dear Carolyn: I need some help setting boundaries with a friend who has a hard time reading social cues. She regularly interrupts and talks over me, dominates conversation with stories about people I’ve never met, continues texting after I say I’m going to bed and overstays her welcome when she...
Chronically ill and struggling to socialize
Dear Carolyn: I am chronically ill but work full time and am literally able to do little else other than work and take care of my home. Socializing is exhausting for me, doing it out of the house more so, and even when it is wholly limited to weekends, too...
Dividing the chore list — and its mental load — with new husband
Dear Carolyn: I am extremely Type A — organized, motivated, mind always on. I am also very particular about things around the house — an unfortunate trait I inherited from one of my parents. My husband (of one month) is much more laid-back, a trait I otherwise prize in him....
Widow not interested in diving back into the dating pool
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I’m a widow in my 50s; my husband died nearly two years ago. I have found that after the first year, people seem to be focused on me “getting back out there.” After 30-plus years of marriage, I’m trying to get used...
Grandparents try to guilt family into visiting … without their new dog
Hello, Carolyn: My kids have been asking for a dog for several years and we finally got a family puppy. We love this dog more than we ever expected! Unfortunately, we live about 600 miles from my parents who want nothing to do with dogs. They do, however, want to...
Sister flakes out of biannual retreats
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Three sisters, all in mid-40s, all live within hours of each other and are generally very close. I, as the oldest, like to plan twice-a-year “sisters retreats” where we all travel somewhere fun. Lately, the middle sister is “not feeling” these outings....
Husband refuses to go on any kids-free dates with wife
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband does not want to spend alone time with me, leaving me feeling frustrated. We have two very young kids and both work high-pressure, full-time jobs. We both are desperate for more time with our kids and try to maximize any...
Wife discovers husband’s long-term infidelity, inflicts pain on entire family
Dear Carolyn: Cast: Wife of 33 years and mother of three; all of whom are college-educated and in careers. Husband, worked out-of-town during the week for the majority of the years. Scene: Wife, who is not a suspicious woman — too busy rearing children alone — has a “feeling” and...
Wary of dating a much older man
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I’ve recently started chatting online with a considerably older man — closer to my parents’ age than mine. I swiped right because I thought he was attractive, but I didn’t really expect to ever meet up with him. A few weeks and...
Should kids be forced to call adults by their honorific?
Dear Carolyn: I hate honorifics for myself and want to be called by my first name, period. Some kids in my life have parents who say they HAVE to call me Ms. Lastname or at least Ms. Firstname. They insist it’s important to them that their kids “show respect.” I...
Fighting the urge to coach nervous rookie parents
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband and I got married and had kids relatively young, especially for his family’s standards. Our kids are now in middle- and high school and doing well. His sister is only two years younger than he is but has a 6-month-old...
Overachiever son ditches fast track after college
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My son, “Ron,” 27, works part time at a low-pressure, low-paying job. He has a four-year college degree my ex-wife and I paid for and he graduated with honors but has never worked in that field and shows no interest in doing...
Entitled 8th-grade daughter refuses to clean the litter box
Dear Carolyn: I live in a home with two indoor house cats with a litter box. My 8th-grade daughter is supposed to be responsible for sweeping and scooping litter but does a terrible, lackadaisical job. It’s in my laundry room, where I smell and step all over scattered litter. Half...
Exhausted caregiver struggles to support healing husband
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband is broken — there is no other way to put it. Years of chronic pain led to multiple surgeries with extended hospitals stays. Physically and mentally he is worn out. He hasn’t worked in two years, so he relies on...
Husband’s siblings refuse to help care for their ailing mother
Dear Carolyn: I spent 10 years helping my aging parents. They died six years ago. Now my husband’s mom is 91 with dementia and he and one sister do all the caregiving. His other two siblings refuse to help. I feel they either need to put in equal time or...
Sister wants to get healthy, but Mom thinks it’s sinful
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My youngest sister is 14. She recently spent 10 days at my house visiting and we had a wonderful time. She is a little overweight and concerned about how to fix it, so I spent this week teaching her how to work...
Husband pressures introvert into another uncomfortable vacation with the in-laws
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: About three years ago my husband and I (no kids) went on a big vacation with my husband’s family. I REALLY wasn’t interested in going but his mother had pushed for a family trip for a long time, his father had just...
Brother’s marital strife is beginning to affect his young children
Dear Carolyn: My brother and sister-in-law have two little girls, 5 and 2, and I love the four of them very much. My brother is a doctor and works many irregular and overnight shifts; my sister-in-law must necessarily manage the girls by herself a lot. My brother and sister-in-law fight...
Politics burnout craves a newsbreak
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn! I try to keep informed with politics and the state of the world, but I’m getting so, so tired. I have depression and anxiety and struggle to deal with my daily first-world issues — how do people deal with watching the world...
Mother abandons fulfilling volunteer gig at the soup kitchen
Dear Carolyn: For the holidays this year, my mother was torn about her regular “gig” — volunteering at a local community center serving as a “soup kitchen.” She has volunteered there for many years for the less fortunate. My mother ultimately decided never to return to the soup kitchen. She...
