Carolyn Hax stories, Page 3

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Valentine’s Day is coming and once again my husband will do nothing for me. He said, after we got married four years ago, he shouldn’t “have to” anymore. This was a huge shock since, when we were dating and engaged, he would...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My boyfriend and I are going to visit some friends who have invited us to join them at their lake house. A few months ago, my friends told me my boyfriend is “tough to like.” I realize his sense of humor isn’t...

Adapted from a recent online discussion Dear Carolyn: I ruined my sister’s life the day I was born, which was cute back then, but we’re almost 50 now. Starting with childhood, most decisions I make (hair, clothes, musical instrument, sports, college, career, house, etc.) somehow ruin her day. She gets...

Dear Carolyn: My adult son, now 29, lost his father in a freak accident the day before he turned 13. For more than two years after the accident, his dad lingered in a near vegetative state. A grief counselor I consulted back then told me that as a result of...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I have a dear friend who won’t allow anyone to say anything bad about ANYONE. My youngest son was trying to make a point about one of his teachers, who treated him like dirt — we as parents got involved as well...

Dear Carolyn: I would love some perspective on how to accept my significant other’s communication style. For 20 years I have told him I would appreciate it if he would initiate conversations about what’s going on in my life and ask me how/what/why questions instead of yes/no questions. At this...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: It was the 15th anniversary of my dad’s death recently. I know it should have been a day marked by profound grief, but instead the primary feeling I had was … relief. This sentiment would have been easier to accept if he...

Hi, Carolyn: My girlfriend of three years does not want biological kids, whereas to me it’s very important. She thinks I’m naive and don’t understand how completely life-altering and difficult childbearing and child-rearing are. I feel I understand all that, and understand the greater biological burden on her, but it’s...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My usually calm daughter, 6, has recently started melting down every time something doesn’t go her way — big or small. My spouse and I can’t figure out the best way to handle it. He says I’m too easy on her because...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband recently told me he had fallen for another woman. I was stunned, but even more when he said he had informed my daughters of his desires before he spoke to me. Both daughters stood up to him, he and I...

Dear Carolyn: I got married two years ago to a wonderful woman. We are in our mid-30s and decided to wait one year before trying to have kids. We waited the year and started trying, but despite neither of us having any obvious medical issues, we’ve been unable to conceive....

Dear Carolyn: Is being an adult just the process of becoming more accepting of disappointment in life? I’m in my 30s and awakening to the fact that nothing in the life I have spent a decade building — relationships, career, skills, hobbies, home — is fulfilling to me at all....

Dear Carolyn: After 30 years of marriage, my wife and I have come to the realization that we have nothing in common. It hasn’t always been this way. Even with our cultural differences — my wife emigrated from Central America at 20; I’m third-generation Japanese American — there was an...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: I am a nurse, my boyfriend is a teacher. A lot of his family are teachers, too. My boyfriend and I get along great, he is really patient with my schedule and I am completely understanding that he gets extra time off...

Dear Carolyn: The holidays were great except … my mother looks like she is dying. She had a significant fall the week before. Went to the hospital. Somehow managed not to break anything. Was given antibiotics for a “raging” (doctor’s word) infection. She and my dad managed to get to...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Two years ago, we were invited to skip our son “Johnny” ahead from first grade to second mid-year. My husband was a bit insufferable about it, bragging to a number of our friends about how well Johnny was doing academically. This really...

Dear Carolyn: No one in my family, including myself, wants to spend time with my mom. She can be really toxic. She has hurt me all my life, and, really, everyone I love. I stopped asking my husband and kids to go with me a while ago. In fact, I...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: A good friend has a habit that makes me crazy and I’d love to deal with it better. Whatever anyone says, she tries to put a positive spin on it. I realize I sound like a monster for being annoyed by this,...

Dear Carolyn: My in-laws, sister-in-law included, made it crystal clear they only invited me to things because they “had to” — their words — once my husband and I were married. I was even told point-blank that I ruined Christmas by being present. Well, now everyone wants to be around...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: My husband is a widower with three kids. His youngest daughter, “Danielle,” is getting married. My two stepsons have been much more welcoming to me since I entered the family than Danielle has. I approached this by being loving to Danielle but...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Hi, Carolyn: I’m finding myself in one of those surreal stories where I invested years (six of them) in a relationship with someone who insisted he did not believe in marriage and finally ended things with me so he didn’t deprive me of what...

Dear Carolyn: I immigrated to marry a man I’d dated for four years. It was an incredibly toxic and abusive relationship, and I finally managed to leave after 11 years. I was unemployed and without family or friends. After two years, I’ve found an amazing job and have done brilliant...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: A good friend has a habit that makes me crazy and I’d love to deal with it better. Whatever anyone says, she tries to put a positive spin on it. I realize I sound like a monster for being annoyed by this,...

Dear Carolyn: What is it about single women and “dating” married men? I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years because I could not live up to her past married “boyfriend.” I was not as funny, charming or fun as he was. Funny thing, they never did anything...

Adapted from a recent online discussion. Dear Carolyn: Without consulting me, my husband committed himself, me and our infant to spending a week at the beach with his sister and her family next summer. The sister made plans and spent several hundred dollars preparing for this trip. My husband only...