Living with Children: Common parenting mistakes
A journalist recently asked me for the single biggest mistake being made by today’s parents. I was tempted to say, “Having children,” but stopped myself because even if I’d followed up with “Just kidding!” my bon mot would have gone into print. Oh my gosh! It just did! I do,...
Living with Children: Public education forecast
I receive a steady stream of missives from teachers, ex-teachers and other folks who have insider knowledge of America’s schools. They all say the same thing — classroom discipline is falling apart and has been for some time — and ask the same question: What can be done? Public-school administrators...
Living with Children: In education, the old standards worked better than the new
As with nearly every public policy topic these days, myths abound, but few mythologies rival that surrounding public education. Some examples: Myth: Smaller classrooms promote better learning. Fact: The teacher-pupil ratio has little to do with student achievement, as demonstrated in the 1950s when elementary classrooms were bursting at the...
Living with Children: Parenting vs. childrearing
There is “parenting” and then there is bringing up, rearing, or raising children. The difference is night and day; so are the outcomes, short- and long-term, to all concerned, meaning every single one of us. Parenting is what the vast majority of American parents have been doing since the early...
Living with Children: The children-need-lots-of-attention myth
One of the more difficult facts for today’s parents, as a rule, to wrap their heads around is the … I’ll say it again, with emphasis … FACT that children do not need (as a general rule) a lot of attention. I was there, working as a journeyman psychologist in...
Grandparents’ options are limited when good advice is ignored
Q: We have 10 grandchildren, spread among three of our kids. They all live within an hour’s drive, so we see them often. We want to be involved in their lives and to be good influences. Our problem is with the parents. None of them are receptive to any advice...
Living with Children: Remember, you can’t control everything
“So, anyway, after they take showers I lay out their school clothes for the next day. And then….” “Hold on right there,” “How old are your girls again?” “Um, they’re 7 and 5,” she answered, being the 30-something mother of the girls in question. “Why?” “I guess I need you...
Living with Children: Don’t put too much stock in feelings
Feelings are a wild card. On the one hand, the ability to experience deep emotion is one of the things that defines us as human. On the other, feelings can be and often are destructive to relationships and even to self. Like thoughts and behavior, feelings begin in chaos (check...
