Asking for a Friend: Are flip flops OK to wear to the office?

Q: A coworker keeps showing up in flip flops — and I’m not sure what’s more unprofessional, the footwear or the fact that I have to see their toes while trying to get my work done. Flip flops just feel too casual (and kind of gross) for the workplace. Is there a tactful way to address this?

Asking for a friend,

Brenda in Greensburg

A: You’re not alone in your cringe, Brenda. Flip flops in a professional setting can feel jarringly casual. But here’s the thing: in many modern offices, especially post-pandemic, the lines between “business” and “beachwear” have blurred — sometimes into oblivion.

Unless your coworker is dragging in sand or violating a clear dress code, this might be one of those things that’s more about your personal tolerance than professional standards. It’s OK to feel mildly annoyed but try not to let it become a full-on distraction.

That said, if you’re in a public-facing role — think clients, customers, or courtroom appearances — shoes absolutely matter. In those settings, a more polished standard is part of the job. But if you’re working in a mostly internal, casual office? Not so much.

If your office has a dress code, a general conversation with HR or a manager can be appropriate — think “Hey, are there any seasonal reminders about office attire?”

Otherwise, try to do your best to carry on by keeping your eyes above ankle level. At the end of the day, the real work emergency probably isn’t footwear.

Q: The couple whose wedding I’m attending requested “cash gifts only.” Is that appropriate? I was always taught that asking for money was in poor taste.

Asking for a friend,

Elaine in Harrison

A: Dear Elaine, This certainly feels a bit impolite — and you’re not wrong to prefer something more traditional.

Traditionally, wedding gifts were selected from a registry and often included household items to help a couple start their life together. These days, many couples already live together or have what they need — and with the rising cost of weddings, some are choosing to ask for money.

That said, etiquette still matters, and directly requesting “cash only” can come off as a bit too transactional for some guests — especially those who value the personal touch of selecting a meaningful gift. Ideally, couples word these requests more gently (“If you’d like to contribute to our house fund … ”), or provide a registry and a cash option, letting guests decide.

While giving cash is more common than it used to be, it’s still perfectly appropriate to give a traditional gift. The world may be shifting, but that doesn’t mean you have to. Celebrate the couple in the way that feels most genuine to you. If it’s an actual gift, so be it.

Q: I recently went out to eat with my friends and was a little thrown away when our waitress called me “babe.” As in, “What can I get you, babe?” I found it off-putting, as did some of my friends. Is it actually appropriate for a server to use pet names like that with customers?

Asking for a friend,

Lydia in Plum

A: Honey is tolerable, but babe?! The nerve! Were you at a bar or an upscale restaurant? The truth is, terms like “babe,” “hon,” or “sweetie” can mean wildly different things depending on the setting, the speaker, and how it lands with the listener. Some servers use them out of habit or as a regional thing (yinz need anything else?), while others may think it adds warmth to the interaction.

But is it appropriate? Generally speaking, not really. Unless you’re a regular or clearly vibing on the same casual wavelength, it’s better for service professionals to stick with neutral politeness. The overly familiar phrases can be loaded and can just feel out of place.

That said, if it seemed harmless and was delivered with genuine friendliness, it might be worth chalking it up to personal style and not reading too much into it.