Asking for a Friend: How do I navigate someone not acknowledging a gift I know was received?

Q: An out-of-town relative recently had a baby and I sent her a gift through Amazon. I know it was delivered because I received a confirmation email, with a photo of the package on their front porch. It’s been a few months and I have yet to receive a thank you or acknowledgment that the gift was received. My feelings are hurt because I put a lot of thought into the gift. What should I do?

Thanks, Sue from North Huntingdon

A: Sue, we understand your frustration but remember, new parents are a bit busy changing diapers, not to mention exhausted from sleepless nights. That said, it is perfectly acceptable to send them a quick text asking if they received the gift. Just say something like, “I want to make sure it didn’t get lost in the mail’ or “Hey! I hope you and the baby are doing well! Just wanted to check in and make sure my gift made it to you — would love to know if it was helpful!”

It’s polite, it acknowledges the fact that you’re being thoughtful, and it gives them a soft reminder without coming off like a passive- aggressive gift receipt request. Plus, it’ll open the door for them to give you the much-needed thank you they probably just haven’t gotten around to yet!

Q: I just flew back from a vacation on a plane that was pretty crowded. A woman next to me pretty much coughed and snorted the entire time (more than two hours!) It was rude, disrespectful and just plain gross. Is there anything travelers can do about this type of behavior?

Maggie, Natrona Heights

A: We hear you, Maggie. Not exactly the best way to end your vacation, huh? Unfortunately, you can’t exactly issue a “no gross noises allowed” policy at 35,000 feet, but you do have a few options. First, if you’re feeling brave, you could politely ask if your neighboring passenger is feeling OK. A gentle “Hey, are you alright? You sound a bit under the weather” could be all she needs to realize she’s being disruptive. If you’re afraid to speak up, you can even put on a mask without saying much.

If she doesn’t take the hint, your best bet is to zone out with noise-canceling headphones. Or try to distract yourself by watching a movie or reading a book. Worst case? You could always ask a flight attendant to politely remind your fellow passenger about etiquette. Just make sure you don’t start an airborne drama that’ll turn your flight into a reality show.

Q: I’ve been going to the same hairstylist for 15 years, and sometimes didn’t tip. Instead, I gave her gifts — usually around the holidays, like bottles of wine, expensive blankets or home decor from my trips. I consider her a friend, after all. Recently, my haircut price went up to $70, and I’ve noticed a shift in her attitude. She now mentions extra charges if I go over my time and recently asked if I wanted to add a tip to my credit card payment. What’s the right way to tip her now, and how do I handle this change in our relationship?

Ronell, Mt. Pleasant

A: To tip or not to tip is surely an age-old dilemma. After 15 years of thoughtful presents, it’s understandable that this shift might feel awkward. But the truth is that tipping is a normal part of the hairstylist-client relationship, even among friends. That’s even more apparent when the price rises and the professional boundaries become clearer. For a $70 haircut, a typical tip would range from 15% to 20%, so you’re looking at about $10-$14.

While gifts are a lovely gesture (who doesn’t like a nice bottle of wine?), they don’t replace the expected tip, which directly acknowledges the service. As for her change in demeanor, it might just be a sign of her adjusting to her new work environment and the standard expectations of the salon. Take it as an opportunity to show appreciation in the way most hairstylists prefer — through a straightforward tip. It’s a simple way to keep things professional and ensure your relationship stays solid.