Asking for a Friend: Should I talk to my child's coach about playing time?

Q: My son’s soccer coach only plays the best players and hardly ever gives playing time to my son. He isn’t a top athlete, but he’s also not that bad. What’s the best way to approach the coach about this? Or should I stay totally out of it?

Asking for a friend,

Sandy in Kittanning

A: If your son wants more playing time, the first step is letting him take the lead. Encourage him to ask the coach (at the right time) what he can improve to earn more time on the field. It builds confidence and keeps you from being an intrusive parent.

If he tries and gets brushed off by the coach, it’s fair for you to request a respectful conversation — not to demand minutes, but to understand what the coach is prioritizing. Ask, “What can my son work on to contribute more?”

If the answer is “he’s just not good enough,” and the bench becomes permanent, it might be time to find another sport or a team more focused on development than just winning.

Let your son play — and speak — for himself. You’re the support squad, not the starting lineup.

Q: We were having dinner at a restaurant and noticed the waitress was eavesdropping on our conversation. She even made a comment about the topic we were discussing. We didn’t say anything because we didn’t want to ruin a nice meal. Should we have?

Asking for a friend,

Lyla in Hempfield

A: Waitstaff overhearing a bit of table talk is inevitable — restaurant acoustics aren’t exactly soundproof. But chiming in? That’s where things get tricky, especially if it was something you don’t want the whole town to know about.

If the comment was harmless, awkward, but not mean-spirited, you were fine to let it slide in the name of keeping the evening pleasant. But if it crossed a line or made you uncomfortable, a polite, light comment like, “We were hoping to keep that part of the conversation just at our table,” can set a boundary without blowing up the meal.

You don’t need to make a scene. But you are allowed to ask for a little conversational bubble — especially when you’re footing the bill.