Anti-bullying talk hosted by swim club teaches kids importance of being 'careful with words'

A worn, crumpled-up dollar bill is worth the same as a clean, newly printed one.

This is one example award-winning motivational speaker Rob Oliver used to show that one’s worth can’t change, no matter how much someone may try to discredit or ruin it.

Oliver was the guest speaker for Allegheny North Swim Club’s “How to Be a Good Sport” presentation Oct. 7 at North Allegheny Intermediate School.

The discussion was focused on anti-bullying and learning about one’s value. Oliver shared his life experiences from being bullied to becoming a bully himself, and then overcoming one of his biggest challenges: being paralyzed at the age of 21.

“What I had to learn is that sometimes people think things about you that aren’t nice. Sometimes people think things about you that aren’t true and say things about you that are mean and can hurt your feelings,” Oliver said.

“There are times when we go through life and people say things that are mean. They don’t change who you are, and it won’t change what your value is. It’s a reflection of them and not on you,” he said.

Oliver, who grew up in Philadelphia, was only an hour away from a beach. An avid swimmer, he shared how when he was body surfing a wave pushed him headfirst into the sand, paralyzing him from the chest down.

He said his friend was able to locate him because of his brightly colored swimming trunks, which “saved my life.”

Oliver soon found that because he was in a wheelchair, people either thought he couldn’t hear so they spoke louder or they thought he wasn’t smart so they talked slower. And then they didn’t think he remembered things before the accident. But he didn’t let any of those negative thoughts define him.

He knew it wasn’t if he was going to accomplish something, it was when.

The speaker, now 53, is an author, podcaster, speaker and married with three children.

He has a bachelor’s degree in psychology from the University of Pittsburgh, followed by a master’s from Duquesne University, according to his online biography at yourmotivationalspeaker.com.

Oliver said he gives motivational talks because he wants to have a positive impact on the world.

“That’s something I can do from my wheelchair,” he said.

“Everybody has their own unique thing. What’s important is we work together. Just because somebody can’t do what you do, doesn’t make them less valuable — or doesn’t mean that they’re better than you,” he said.

He warns unkind actions can leave a lasting impression.

“Even though you say that you’re sorry, those impacts are going to be something that lasts a long time. We need to be careful with our words. We need to be constructive. We need to build each other up,” Oliver said.

Ashley Swartz, a sophomore at North Allegheny Intermediate School, doesn’t think bullying has been a big issue for the girls on her swim team. But she was curious about the program.

Swartz, 15, of Franklin Park has seen how negativity at North Allegheny has affected others “especially in a school this big.”

Her teammate and friend agreed.

“I think it’s really important to learn about bullying even if you haven’t been affected by it, to know about it and what to do,” said junior Julia Tengowski, 16, also of Franklin Park.

Patrick Wenzel, the head coach of Allegheny North Swim Club, shared why it was important to bring Oliver’s presentation to the club and families.

“At Allegheny North Swim Club, we want to help kids be great swimmers, but, just as importantly, we want to teach them to be good teammates. This starts with being kind to one another and having the tools to combat bad behavior in a positive way,” Wenzel said.

He hopes the conversation will help students and swimmers be leaders in school and life as they move forward — and the entire community can benefit from the event. He noted they were lucky to host Oliver.

“He is a tremendous example of positivity and perseverance, and we know he will have an impact on our athletes. We are extremely excited to have him and look to learn from his experience,” Wenzel said.

Kim Pontarelli of Franklin Park was there with her daughter, 7.

“This was very inspirational for all of us,” said Pontarelli, who purchased Oliver’s book at the event. She shared that he signed it with “life is a gift to us.”

“He is a gift to us,” she said.