Mom gets life wish granted on her 85th birthday with infant son's grave located in O'Hara cemetery

Bernadine Novak celebrated her 85th birthday at the St. Mary’s Cemetery in O’Hara Township.

While cemeteries are not a typical place for a surprise birthday party, Novak was all smiles as she approached the gravesite surrounded by her loved ones. Her birthday celebration coincided with the fulfillment of a 65-year wish.

On Sept. 20, Novak’s son, who died on March 5, 1958, two days after his birth, finally got a grave marker.

“I couldn’t afford it at the time,” Novak said. “It’s something I have always wanted to get done.”

Novak’s daughter, Stephanie Steiger of Coraopolis, contacted the Allegheny Chapter of the nonprofit Twilight Wish Foundation, a group dedicated to granting wishes to seniors, to see if it could fulfill Novak’s lifelong wish of getting a grave marker for her infant son, Andrew.

“My mom has had many trials and tribulations in life,” Steiger wrote to Twilight. “She fought state government for the rights of those with disabilities. She was divorced and raised two kids on her own in poverty.”

Andrew was buried in the children’s section of St. Mary’s Cemetery. For 65 years, Novak was unable to visit her late son’s unmarked final resting place.

“We came up last year to look for my brother, but we couldn’t find him,” Steiger said. “She kept talking about wanting to find him. We looked into doing it ourselves, and we just couldn’t afford it because it’s very expensive.”

Patrick Lanigan Funeral Homes along with Regan Monuments funded the cost of the tombstone and provided the service on Sept. 20. St. Mary Cemetery waived its fee.

When contacted by Twilight, funeral home owner Patrick Lanigan said he was more than happy to help Novak.

“We just felt this woman lived all this (time) without this marker, which was important to her,” Lanigan said. “This may have given her some peace as well as recognize and pay tribute to her son, Andrew.”

Finding Andrew’s grave presented volunteers, such as Patty McDonough, who led much of the effort to grant Novak’s wish, with a unique set of challenges.

“We never had a request like this, usually people want a lift chair or a special outing or something,” McDonough said. “It was unusual, but that’s why we were determined to make it happen.”

Providing the grave marker for an unmarked burial site from 65 years ago can be complicated.

“That’s what we try to do,” McDonough said. “It’s all about giving back to those deserving senior citizens. Bernadine did not want to leave this earth knowing her son didn’t have a gravestone on his site.”

The process, which according to Steiger took nearly six months, started with McDonough figuring out exactly which St. Mary cemetery Andrew had been buried in. Using Novak’s original zip code, McDonough identified the O’Hara cemetery, one of six “Saint Mary” cemeteries in the Pittsburgh area, as Andrew’s burial place.

After pinpointing the cemetery, McDonough along with Randy Fox, foreman for St. Mary Cemetery, worked to locate Andrew’s grave. The pair went through stacks of handwritten records, some dating back more than a century.

“I have handwritten books from the 1920s that I still use,” Fox said. “They’re in very good shape for being over 100 years old, but without those records, I don’t know if you find him.”

While the names were listed alphabetically, it was not until McDonough realized that Andrew’s name was under “babies” that she determined where his grave marker was.

“Everyone put so much effort into finding Andrew before the deadline,” McDonough said. “From the secretary and the volunteers with Twilight, everyone did not hesitate to help us. I can’t pinpoint the number of hours that were put in, but I am so glad we were able to get this done on the day of her birthday.”

Novak, surrounded by her loved ones, was able to finally visit Andrew’s final resting place.

“I appreciate everything that everybody’s done, especially for my birthday,” Novak said. “My heart is filled with joy.”