Experts recommend approaches to discussing coronavirus with kids

It’s not easy for parents to talk to children about many things, and coronavirus is quickly becoming an unavoidable topic.

The challenge is finding the middle ground between giving kids good information and giving them reason to be concerned, according to several child psychologists who spoke to the Tribune-Review.

So, how does a parent explain the serious nature of the coronavirus known as COVID-19 to a child without scaring them?

Marcie Stover-Jividen of Excela Health’s Outpatient Behavioral Health Services and School-Based Therapy program said the explanation should sound something like this: “There’s a new sickness that is bad but the doctors and nurses are working on it to make sure all the sick people get better quickly,” she said. “If you get sick, your family or school nurse can check you and they will know what to do to help.”

Dr. Anthony Mannarino, Allegheny Health Network’s director of the Center for Traumatic Stress in Children and Adolescents, said parents should validate concerns of their children.

“We’re going to hear anxiety from children of all ages about what’s going on and they’re going to be worried about family members getting potentially ill” said Mannarino. “So, I think it’s important for parents to be understanding and empathic, caring and compassionate.”

Dr. Abigail Schlesinger, chief of the behavioral science division at UPMC Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh and Western Psychiatric Hospital, said it’s a good idea for the adults to talk among themselves before approaching the children.

“I always suggest to parents that they first check their own pulse and make sure that they have their anxiety under control because people are worried about this,” said Schlesinger. “Just by watching the stock market last week you know that we have people worried.”

Mannarino said it’s important for parents to speak to their children calmly.

“No matter what age child a parent is talking to, be calm and don’t convey any sense of panic or excessive worry because children pick up on parents’ anxiety,” said Mannarino.

It’s also important for parents to gather as much accurate information about the disease as they can so that they are ready to answer kids’ questions.

“If a kid, say a teenager, asks you a question you can’t answer, honesty is always the best policy,” Schlesinger said. “Say ‘Hey, I don’t know the answer to that. I’m going to go talk to someone else, maybe an expert, to get help answering the question.’ ”

Both Mannarino and Schlesinger say it’s important for parents to limit media exposure to children in all age groups, particularly those 12 and under, even if the media is not exaggerating or inciting panic.

“There’s been some pretty good research to show that the more children are exposed to media, the more likely they are to develop a variety of different kinds of distress and issues,” Mannarino said. “When kids see it over and over and over again, day after day, it really gets stuck in the consciousness and it becomes something they really focus on and maybe begin to obsess about.”

Some younger kids aren’t even aware that coronavirus exists. So, then it becomes a matter of what should parents tell kids and when should they tell them. Schlesinger said parents can open a conversation by asking young children what they have heard. Or children may end up bringing up the topic of coronavirus to their parents.

“My child is 6 and this morning I had the radio on and he said, ‘Why do they keep talking about that virus?’ So, I was like, ‘Huh! He’s heard more than I thought,’ ” Schlesinger said. She adds that this might an opportunity for parents to get their children to pull back on media in general, including their devices, television and radio. “It’s OK to limit it and say that now is not the time to be watching over and over again the statistics about coronavirus.”

Stover-Jividen said a basic thing that all parents can talk to all kids about is what they can do to help themselves.

“Wash your hands a lot. Sing a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ or ‘Yankee Doodle’ to be sure you are washing long enough. Don’t share any food or use another person’s straw. Use your elbow like a ‘chicken wing’ to catch your cough and sneezes,” she said.

So far, children appear to be much less affected by COVID-19.