Hospice memorial walk planned for those who lost loved ones during pandemic restrictions

Erin Klems could not visit her mother, Mary Lou Flavin-Stumpf, before she died alone of an infection on April 28 in a Pittsburgh-area hospital. At that time, covid-19 restrictions prevented any visitation by the public to local hospitals.

Many other people died alone. Then, the survivors mourned alone.

But no more. On Oct. 24, a Lower Burrell hospice is holding a memorial walk to recognize and honor hospice patients and area residents who died during the pandemic. The event will be held in Officer Derek Kotecki Memorial Park in Lower Burrell.

Typically, Monarch Hospice in Lower Burrell offers an annual memorial service for patient families in the spring. With social distancing restrictions in place because of the pandemic, an indoor group event isn’t possible.

“We haven’t had a way to have that collective grieving experience that is important to our healing, especially the ones who we couldn’t say goodbye to,” said Tami Kelly, a Monarch Hospice administrator.

Kelly was inspired to put together the first-time memorial walk by Klems, a Lower Burrell resident. The two women, who are friends, took walks together that became a new way to grieve for Klems’ mother.

The emotional strain of losing her mom was devastating, Klems said.

“I was crumbling,” Klems said. “Wasn’t it nice to have a person there, to have that touch interaction when you are crumbling? You can’t do what you did before,” she said.

Complicating matters were the physical boundaries preventing family interaction in the months following Flavin-Stumpf’s death. Klems and three family members caught covid-19 from a Fathers’ Day get together. All recovered, but any future events such as memorial services were out of the question.

“I had covid, and you would never want to give it to somebody,” Klems said. “But that doesn’t change the need to mourn, you still have those feeling of emptiness.”

Kelly said, “Watching my friends’ personal grief experiences during covid has been heartbreaking.”

Although funeral homes are open now with smaller viewings, there are still many limitations preventing the grieving process that people have come to expect.

“An important part of grief is getting the opportunity to say good-bye and have the communal rituals of bereavement such as funerals, memorial services, family and friends gathering around you to provide support,” Kelly said.

While Kelly was inspired by Klems’ story, it was other Monarch employees and a Leap Fitness Center 5K recently that got Kelly going. “If Leap Fitness could have a 5K, why couldn’t we have a short walk?”

Kelly is expecting around 100 people. The ceremony will include a reading of the names of the deceased and a walk under a mile where signs will be posted to encourage people to tell stories about their love ones.

Klems won’t be able to attend, but her family will to honor Flavin-Stumpf.

Registered participants will receive a memorial gift from Monarch. Registration by Oct. 17 is required to ensure reading of a loved ones name and to receive a memorial gift. Same-day arrivals will not be turned away.