Tragedy impacts, but does not define, New Kensington native Brian Jacob's life

The first time Brian Jacob tries to answer the question raised by his memoir, “Is Life Fair,” he is remembering an unpleasant experience attending a play with his wife.

Brian and Jamie Jacob were at a Pittsburgh Public Theater performance when an employee approached Brian, who is quadriplegic and uses an electric wheelchair.

The employee told them Brian would be in the actors’ way, and that the play could not begin until he moved. He was asked to watch the performance on a television in the lobby.

They left.

Brian outlined his concerns in a letter to the theater, and got an apologetic call a few days later. While it came with free season tickets for many years, perhaps more importantly Brian learned that others who witnessed what had happened demanded that something be done so such a thing never happens again.

“Is life fair?” Brian writes in the memoir.

“Here is a bad situation that turned out well for me. Sometimes when things don’t seem fair, I keep my feelings in perspective and recognize that life is not what’s given to you but what you make of it.”

Brian’s memoir, written by dictation over eight years, begins with the tragic accident more than 40 years ago that changed the course of his life but would not define it.

His story becomes one of love, family, prosperity and wonder as represented by his memoir’s subtitle, “Tragedy to Triumph.”

“This was an opportunity to tell my story and leave a legacy for my kids,” said Brian, 63.

“I hope I can inspire people facing a tough time or difficulties in life. Things can be good if you make the most of them.”

Today, Brian is president and CEO of WESTARM Physical Therapy and WESTARM Home Health.

He has grown the business since inheriting it in 1991 following the death of his father, Abraham Jacob, who started Westmoreland Armstrong Physical Therapy in 1983 in Leechburg.

Brian and Jamie have been married for 34 years; they have a son, Brady, 32, and a daughter, Maria, 30, and live in Lower Burrell.

Brian was raised in New Kensington, the second of five children. Athletic and involved in many sports, he began wrestling in seventh grade, which he continued through his time at Valley High School and into college at the University of Pittsburgh.

Brian was 19 years old when he suffered a spinal cord injury on Nov. 15, 1978. It happened at the New Kensington YMCA, where he was a volunteer youth wrestling coach.

Practice was over and they were clearing mats from the gym floor so others could play basketball. A high school friend who wanted to wrestle Brian grabbed him from behind and pulled him down to his knees. As Brian tried to use a wrestling move to escape, a second friend jumped on top of them, breaking Brian’s neck.

“I know he didn’t do it on purpose,” Brian said.

Brian spent nearly two months in an intensive care unit at Citizens General Hospital, during which he said he had a near-death experience when he became unable to breathe. He remembers his pain vanishing and leaving his body before opening his eyes again.

“It made me recognize there is a better world than the one we live in now,” he said. “It will be there again when I die. It made me not fearful of dying. I feel I have died and come back into this world.”

Encouraged by his father to continue his education, Brian changed paths from wanting to be a chiropractor to physical therapy, wanting to help others with the knowledge gained from his own experiences.

It was in 1985 during a residency for his master’s degree in healthcare administration at Harmarville Rehabilitation Center, where he had been a patient for more than six months, that Brian noticed Jamie, a newly hired counselor.

She also noticed him — sharp-dressed, handsome, and speeding through the halls in his wheelchair.

Brian proposed to Jamie after just four months of dating, and they were married on June 13, 1987. She wrote the closing chapter of his memoir.

“It becomes a love story,” she said. “Not just love of me, but the love of his kids and loving himself, too.”

Jamie found the parts of the book about Brian’s injury difficult to read. She learned some new things about her husband, such as his family and upbringing.

As Brian wrote and rewrote, she helped him recall details and encouraged him to be more emotional. Brian found the experience beneficial.

“A lot of the emotions that I had repressed for many years, I was able to get them out and get them on paper,” he said.

While the candid memoir exposes their personal lives, Jamie is glad Brian wrote it.

“I’m happy he was honest,” she said. “There’s a lot of tears and a lot of cheers in the book.”

As part of their life together, the book tells of their travels, from a honeymoon in San Francisco and Hawaii to visiting cities across Europe, and the challenges they faced in times when the world was less accommodating to someone in a wheelchair.

“I want the book to be inspirational for people who are disabled. That’s what he wants, too. We hope it motivates people to not give up,” Jamie said. “Life can still be whatever you want it to be. You just can’t stop trying.”

Reading the memoir inspired Penn State New Kensington Chancellor Kevin Snider to ask Brian to speak at his campus’ fall commencement in December. Brian had taken classes there in addition to his studies at Pitt.

“When the chips are down, if you just keep plugging away and keep focused, you can be successful. That’s what I wanted our students to see,” Snider said.

“I look at a man who took what cards were dealt to him in life with all the disappointment that would have come from that accident and turn it around into a life that is successful, fulfilling and full of happiness and family.”

Brian goes back to the question, “Is life fair?” several times through his memoir.

He compares life to a poker game in which he got good cards and bad cards, and had to decide if he would play with the cards he was dealt, or fold and quit.

Brian stayed in the game and played his hand.

“It’s up to us to make the best of what we’ve been given,” he said.

“Life is what you make of it. It’s not always fair, but it can be good.”