Kathe Gross took an immediate dislike to the man her daughter, Cassandra Gross, was dating in 2017 and 2018.
During the first day of testimony in the trial of the man charged with her daughter’s murder, Kathe Gross told a Westmoreland County jury Wednesday that she found Thomas G. Stanko to be possessive. She even recalled once threatening him with a baseball bat.
Kathe Gross testified that she suspected Stanko was responsible for her daughter’s death almost immediately after she disappeared in April 2018.
Kathe, 77, said she and her husband went to her daughter’s home after not hearing from her for days. They found all of her daughter’s possessions in the Unity townhouse, but no sign of Cassandra Gross or her diabetic dog, Baxter.
“I told my husband, ‘Call the cops, Tom Stanko killed her,’ ” Kathe Gross testified.
Stanko, 55, of Unity, is charged with Cassandra Gross’ murder and one count of reckless burning. Prosecutors contend Stanko killed Gross and burned her body; her remains were never found.
Cassandra Gross, 51, was last seen April 7, 2018, and reported missing two days later. Shortly after she vanished, her blind, diabetic dog was found wandering in the Beatty Crossroads area; the following day, her Mitsubishi Outlander was discovered burned beyond recognition near Twin Lakes Park.
Stanko was not charged in the case until 2022.
In her opening statement, Assistant District Attorney Katie Ranker Ellwood outlined how the prosecution will attempt to prove Cassandra Gross died at Stanko’s hands. Ellwood set out a timeline of a nearly year-long tumultuous relationship that started with a note left on Cassandra’s front door in May 2017. Evidence includes a half-carat diamond engagement ring Stanko purchased at a local Kmart, which was found stuffed in the back of a bathroom drawer.
“We are confident we will prove Cassandra Gross is dead and Thomas Stanko murdered her and made sure no one will ever find her,” Ellwood said.
Prosecutors contend Stanko worked as a landscaper at the apartment complex where Cassandra Gross lived and initiated a romantic relationship by leaving a card on her front door asking her to call him.
Witnesses described a relationship in which Cassandra became fearful for her safety. Friends and neighbors testified that a man matching Stanko’s description was seen in January, four months before her disappearance, loitering outside her home and attempting to enter both her vehicle and her townhouse.
During an hour-long text message exchange with friend Melissa Moore on Jan. 4, 2018, Cassandra chronicled how Stanko repeatedly knocked on her door, peered into her window and attempted to contact her by phone. Moore testified that Cassandra feared for her life but refused to call the police at that time.
“If anything happens to me make sure B (her son) knows how much I love him,” Cassandra wrote in a text to Moore. In another, she wrote, “You are my lifeline, whether you like it or not.”
Neighbors later testified to seeing Stanko lurking near the home later that January. State trooper Corrie Hannon testified that police responded to a neighbor’s call, at which point Cassandra identified Stanko as her former boyfriend.
A day later, on Jan. 19, 2018, State Trooper John Robertson said he met with the couple at the Latrobe police station. Cassandra told police Stanko was following her vehicle along back roads and asked for intervention. Robertson said she declined to press charges after Stanko agreed to have no further contact.
Ellwood told jurors Cassandra was last seen on April 7, 2018, while having lunch with a friend at the Parkwood Inn in Southwest Greensburg. During that lunch, Cassandra texted Stanko about her plans to cook him dinner and asked that he purchase ingredients for the meal. As she drove away from the restaurant, she called her mother and son. It was the last time she was heard from, Ellwood said.
“Thomas Stanko killed her and hid her body. He tried to hide all of her belongings. He tried to eliminate as much of the evidence as he possibly could,” Ellwood said.
Kathe Gross was the first of nine witnesses to testify on Wednesday. She said her daughter’s home appeared untouched when she and her husband visited after becoming concerned about her whereabouts. She later found two handwritten letters from Stanko among the belongings. In one undated letter, he appeared to lament their breakup and lambaste her for ending the relationship. In the other letter, found in an envelope dated Oct. 28, 2017, Stanko wrote a promise to refrain from any further emotional or physical abuse.
Kathe Gross noted that she and her grandson went to court in January 2019 to have Cassandra declared legally dead to allow the family to close bank accounts and access life insurance. Over the next six years, she organized 128 searches around the Unity area hoping to find her daughter’s remains. Health issues prevented her from participating in additional searches during the last two years.
“It’s fair to say I never found anything of her,” Kathe Gross testified.
Defense attorney Marc Daffner, in a short opening statement, argued that prosecutors will be unable to prove Stanko was responsible.
“You’re not going to see any proof. Keep an open mind and you will see through their case and find Mr. Stanko is not guilty,” Daffner said.
The prosecution will continue to present its case when the trial resumes Thursday morning.
