Wife shows true love for husband through kidney donation
At 11:30 p.m. on Dec. 31, Dan Sturm texted his wife, Tanya.
“You awake?” he asked.
“Yes,” she answered.
“I am coming over,” he replied.
Dan, 61, made his way to his wife’s room across the hall on the 11 North hospital floor inside UPMC Montefiore in Oakland.
Connected to intravenous tubes and wearing hospital gowns, they welcomed 2021 through a deeper connection. They were both recovering from surgery.
Tanya, who turns 56 on Feb. 24, had donated a kidney to the love of her life two days prior, Dec. 29.
“We had a New Year’s kiss,” said Tanya, a Belle Vernon native. “I wish I would have asked someone to take our picture with all of the IVs and us dressed in hospital gowns. It would have been a wonderful memory.”
Making more memories
Being able to share many more memories — including Valentine’s Day on Sunday — is the reason she donated her kidney.
“People say, ‘what an amazing thing you did,’ ” she said. “I don’t see it as amazing. He is my husband. I love him.”
The Sturms’ marriage has spanned two decades. When Dan had a second heart attack on Nov. 20, 2019, he felt compelled to apologize to Tanya — that day was their 20th wedding anniversary, and it was spent in the hospital.
“I said, ‘Don’t be sorry,’ ” she said. “You are the best anniversary gift ever.”
He survived the heart attack, but his kidney function began dropping to a dangerous level. He would need a kidney transplant or have to require dialysis. Dialysis — or renal replacement therapy — takes over for failing kidneys by cleaning waste from the blood.
There was another option — the living donor program. A living donor kidney transplant involves removing a healthy person’s kidney and then it being transplanted to someone with kidney failure.
Finding a match
The first plan was for one of Dan’s sisters to be a donor, leaving Tanya as his designated caregiver. But when tests showed that neither sister was a match, Tanya went in for a test — and turned out to be a perfect match, with type O negative blood. Dan’s sister Linda Tomaszewski, who just happens to be a nurse, became the caregiver for Dan. Tanya’s mother, Carolyn Simkovich, stepped in to be hers.
The surgery was performed by Dr. Amit Tevar, director of the kidney and pancreas transplant program at UPMC. In 2020, UPMC performed 91 living donor kidney transplants.
“How can you not love Tanya and Daniel?” Tevar said. “They are the perfect couple. Tanya was determined to make sure Daniel did well.”
Tevar said Dan would have most likely had to wait years before a donor was found. With his wife as the donor, he should be healthy for two decades, Tevar said. This exchange is much better because it doesn’t involve the challenge of a patient who has been on dialysis for several years to have their body adjust to a new kidney.
“The donors are the heroes,” said Tevar, who did Tanya’s operation as a laparoscopy procedure. “They are fantastic altruistic brave people.”
Healing process
Recovery takes time, often months.
Dan plans to return to his job as a Port Authority of Allegheny County bus driver once he receives medical clearance.
“Even though I feel tired most days, I feel so much better mentally, knowing I have a normal life to look forward to, instead of one with dialysis,” said Dan, a Brentwood native.
Tanya said she was in some pain initially, but is feeling great now.
“You do what you can for each other,” she said. “When I went through breast cancer in 2010, he was there every moment. He made me mashed potatoes because that was the only food I wanted to eat and could eat. He would make big bowls of mashed potatoes. When you have someone who takes care of you when you are sick, that is love.”
The medical team who cared for the couple went above and beyond, Tanya said.
“They were amazing,” she said. “I believe they were hand-picked because they know how to make you feel better. We can’t thank them enough.”
The Sturms, who live in Heidelberg, met at Forbes Field Tavern (now Birmingham Bridge Tavern) on the South Side. Tanya was bartending there. After Dan first saw her as a customer, he purposely walked by several days in a row and looked in the window to see if she was working. And then he became a regular.
She was the first person he wanted to see after waking from surgery. She felt the same way.
“When I woke up, I asked to see him to make sure he was OK,” Tanya said. “He looked very tired but he smiled at me and then I let him rest. As I left his room, I thought to myself, ‘we were a match when we met and got married.’ Now, we truly know we are a match for each other.”
JoAnne Klimovich Harrop is a TribLive reporter covering the region's diverse culinary scene and unique homes. She writes features about interesting people. The Edward R. Murrow award-winning journalist began her career as a sports reporter. She has been with the Trib for 26 years and is the author of "A Daughter's Promise." She can be reached at jharrop@triblive.com.
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