Editorial: Modern fatherhood may have a new look, but the bond endures

Fatherhood isn’t what it once was, people say.

In days gone by, a father was the man of the family who went away to war or spent the day working the fields or left in the morning for some other job. At home he was the decision-maker and the disciplinarian. Your mother gave you love. Your father gave you structure.

At least that was the stereotype we learned from movies like “A Christmas Story” and TV shows like “Leave It to Beaver.”

Look at fatherhood today and it might seem different.

Fathers are involved in a way that was never a part of those black-and-white on-screen worlds. They are in the doctor’s office for sonograms and cutting the umbilical cord when a baby is born. They carry their own diaper bags and change diapers in public restrooms.

They are as apt to be home with the kids as they are to work elsewhere. Fathers today are shown on TV and movies as more present and more engaged. They are co-parents, not the “wait til your father comes home” deliverer of punishment.

The American Psychological Association acknowledges so many different ways to be a father today. Single or married. Foster or adoptive. The stepfather who married a kid’s mom or the boyfriend who has been in her life longer than the biological parent. Maybe he lives halfway across the country and gets a kid for school breaks and alternating holidays or maybe he has custody because Mom is the one who moved away.

Maybe he is doing it all himself because Mom died. Maybe his picture sits on the mantelpiece next to the urn with his ashes. Whatever his role in a child’s life, the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services points to fathers as an important part of a child’s development into a well-rounded, well-nurtured human being.

And that is how we know fatherhood hasn’t changed as much as we might think, because our fathers have always been important to us.

The first Father’s Day-like event was celebrated in West Virginia in 1908, just 87 miles from Pittsburgh. That was the same year Mother’s Day became a commercial — although not yet an official — holiday, according to History.com.

But beyond that, we have looked to our fathers for respect and approval. We wanted to know we made them proud and wanted them to know how proud we were of them. We learned from them and we honored them.

And when they were gone, we mourned them.

Our oldest lessons feature the relationships between fathers and their children, from the Bible to Greek mythology to Norse legends and Native American stories. Maybe the mechanics of the family have changed with time and the shifting roles of the home, but we still need and love our fathers the way we have for generations.

So let’s get Dad a beer and a tie and a burger. But more than that, let’s actually sit down with him, listen to him and let him know how much we appreciate him for everything he does and everything he has done.

Maybe fatherhood is different than it was back when Ward was helping the Beav learn a hard lesson about responsibility. But no matter how old they are, fathers are still an important part of their children’s lives, and they deserve to hear that.