Joseph Sabino Mistick: Celebrating the holidays in time of war

As many Americans struggle to find the holiday spirit this year in the midst of war abroad and turmoil at home, Henry Kissinger’s death last week is a reminder that we have been here before. When Vietnam War peace talks collapsed in December 1972, President Richard Nixon and Kissinger — Nixon’s national security adviser and chief negotiator — wanted to get North Vietnam back to the table.

Nixon ordered the Christmas bombings of 1972 — massive B-52 Stratofortress attacks on Hanoi and Haiphong — starting Dec. 18 and lasting for 11 days. North Vietnam returned to the negotiating table and signed a treaty. Still, the war did not end until 1975.

It has always been tough to celebrate the holidays during war. It’s especially tough if you have a loved one in harm’s way or the family down the street has lost a child that year to war. That is why we wanted to believe Kissinger when he said in October 1972 that “peace is at hand.” And that is why the Christmas bombings were especially jarring.

The holidays will be tough again this year. Ukrainian soldiers appear to have fought their Russian invaders to a standstill. Once heralded throughout the free world for their courage and strength, Ukraine now must beg for the support it needs to win. Nobody knows how this will end.

The events in the Middle East swing between horror and deepening sadness, with innocent children paying the highest price. Hate crimes are on the rise in America. And people are afraid that this can get much worse very quickly.

At home, there are some Americans who believe that we actually need an authoritarian form of government in place of the republic. They tried and failed on Jan. 6, 2021. They acted with resentment, belligerence and violence; and they are preparing to do it again.

Even some religions are faltering in the face of strife. Russell Moore, a former evangelical leader and now the editor-in-chief of Christianity Today, told NPR in August that some conservative Christians see the teachings of Jesus Christ as “liberal talking points” and “weak.”

How can we celebrate with all of this anxiety around us? How can we get past the suffering, especially when modern media outlets fight so hard to instill fear in order to gain a bigger audience?

Experts from the healing professions say this is precisely the time — when all seems lost — that we most need hope and faith. Psychologists say a negativity bias makes it easy for us to focus on all that is wrong or could go wrong. We have come by it naturally because anticipating the worst that could happen has served us well.

Real celebration requires that we focus on gratitude. As Michele M. Tugade wrote in Psychology Today in 2020, “It is precisely in darker times that we need to practice gratitude the most.” She describes “gratitude in the midst of adversity” as a source of resilience.

Even with all this tragedy, there are still genuine reasons for gratitude. There are the Ukrainian people who will fight to the end for freedom and liberty, drawing a line for the rest of us. Humanity prevailed over war for a few days in the Middle East, and some hostages were released, each life a treasure. And enough good people stood up to the mob to save our republic on Jan. 6, and they will do it again.