Kim Scouller: The financial nightmare of domestic violence

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Many people think of bruises or broken bones, but there’s another weapon of abuse that leaves scars you can’t see on the outside: financial abuse.

Experts estimate that more than 10 million adults experience domestic violence, and almost 100% also experience financial abuse. Sadly, we rarely talk about it because its effects aren’t always visible, but it is just as devastating.

Economic abuse usually takes the form of control, sabotage or exploitation. Abusers may drain bank accounts, hide assets, deny or limit access to money, demand a detailed accounting of every dollar spent or criticize financial decisions until the victim doubts herself. It can also mean threatening to withhold money, forcing the victim to miss or be late to work, belittling her accomplishments or even physically preventing her from going to work or school. Abusers will also run up debt in their victim’s name, ruining her credit score and leaving her with little to no access to financial resources.

The end result is the same: dependency. When you don’t have money of your own, when your credit is destroyed and when you’ve lost jobs because of abuse, you’re trapped. The financial chains can feel as strong as physical ones.

The costs ripple far beyond individual households. Consider these staggering facts:

• Research shows that survivors of intimate partner violence lose 8 million days of paid work every year.

• More than half of survivors lose a job due to abuse, and about 70% report being blocked from working at all.

• Nearly 60% of victims suffer harm to their credit by their abuser.

• The overall workplace productivity costs are $1.3 trillion.

These aren’t just personal tragedies. They’re economic crises. Every lost job, every ruined credit score, every foreclosure or eviction caused by abuse strains our communities, our workplaces and our economy. Employers lose talent, banks absorb defaults, and taxpayers foot the bill for social services and health care.

Why aren’t we more outraged? Why don’t we talk about financial abuse in the same breath as physical violence? Because it’s quieter. But it’s no less destructive.

Ending financial abuse has to become a priority if we’re serious about ending domestic violence. That means recognizing the warning signs both for potential victims and for those of us who can help. It also means systemic change.

Employers must understand that domestic violence is a workplace issue. Flexibility, support and resources can mean the difference between a survivor keeping or losing her job. Financial institutions should be trained to recognize red flags and provide confidential support for clients in crisis. Lawmakers should strengthen protections so survivors aren’t punished for debts forced on them by abusers, and so leaving doesn’t mean financial ruin. Starting over is difficult enough; starting behind seems an almost impossible hurdle.

Most important, we need to keep naming financial abuse for what it is: violence. Control over money is control over life itself. Stripping someone of their ability to earn, save or plan isn’t just bad behavior. It’s a calculated act to keep them powerless.

If October is a month of awareness, let’s be truly aware. Domestic violence doesn’t always show up as bruises. Sometimes it shows up as an empty bank account, a destroyed credit report or a career cut short. Until we end financial abuse, we will never fully end domestic violence.

If you’re a business leader, look at how your company can support employees who may be silently struggling. If you’re in finance, consider what policies or safeguards your institution could put in place. And if you’re a friend or family member, know the signs and know that asking, “Why doesn’t she just leave?” is the wrong question. The right question is, “How can we help her find the resources to rebuild her life and financial foundation?”

Economic independence leads to freedom. And freedom is what every survivor of domestic violence deserves.

Kim Scouller is an advocate for women, a certified financial educator and author of the book “How Money Works for Women.”