A parody of Mark Antony’s funeral oration for Julius Caesar:
Friends, Americans, countrymen, lend me your ears, I come to bury the Porn Patron not to praise him. The evil that men do lives after them, the good is oft interred with their bones — so let it be with the Porn Patron.
The noble Rudy hath told you that the Porn Patron was the winner. If it were so it was a grievous fault and grievously hath Americans paid for it.
You all did love him once not without cause; what cause withholds you then from accepting the facts? There was a time I trusted him and was supportive of his causes. He was my choice in ’16 and ’20 to “Make America Great Again.”
He forfeited his presidential salary for charitable causes.
He has pledged to curtail illegal immigration that threatens our national identity by building a wall that would not cost us, American taxpayers, one red cent.
However, the very document which presented him the presidency in ’16 became the target of a revolting attempt to circumvent its provisions because the Porn Patron failed to generate the necessary electoral votes to give him a second term.
Does this seem like a noble American?
Pity the poor Porn Patron who has lost 61 of 62 court challenges of election outcomes. We should pity us poor taxpayers who have to bear such worthless causes.
O judgment thou art fled to brutish beasts and men have lost their reason. If this history shall be repeated in ’24, may God bless America.
Jack Graham
Latrobe