Fear not, felon rapist and serial abuser of women, Harvey Weinstein! The door to freedom may lie before you!
Here is the proven winning strategy: Immediately after you are sentenced to what is certain to be a lengthy prison term, have your attorneys appear on Fox News for an interview in which the interviewers demonstrate how unfairly you have been treated, how your crime was nominal: “grabbing women by the (expletive),” something to which you were entitled because “when you are a star, they let you do it.”
Let counsel relate how you have always admired President Trump as a winner, that you agree he is “The Chosen One,” the son of God. Finally, state that you want to establish a foundation designed to recognize and honor Trump for all of his good works and accomplishments. Renounce all of the contributions you have made to Democratic candidates and causes.
All of this will require you to turn logic on its head and for you to grovel, but who cares? A period of incarceration which may be tantamount to a life sentence may face you if you do not do it. Save your skin!
If you follow this advice, you may soon be back at your palatial Connecticut estate a pardoned, free man.
Oren Spiegler
Peters