Letter to the editor: More meat, more CO2 among resolutions

Since it’s traditional to make New Year’s resolutions, here are a few of mine:

1. I’ll try to eat more meat. Animal protein is the most complete type of protein, providing all of the essential amino acids and fats for a healthy body. That’s why we have incisors and canines, and why smoked brisket is so delicious.

2. I will release more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. CO2 is essential for life. It creates photosynthesis, which is required to nourish all living things. Without it we die. So, when you hear my 4.6 liter, 315 HP, V8 Mustang rumble past, just wave and say thank you.

3. I will remind the misinformed that in America we are privileged to be born with equal rights, equal protections and equal opportunities … but not with equal abilities. A meritocracy is the foundation to strive to be better. You are not special for doing nothing. Let’s be judged on the content of our character, not our characteristics.

4. I will protect my sacred constitutional rights. That includes freedom of speech, even if you are highly offended by it, and the right to bear arms, which allows me to conceal-carry my Glock.

Happy New Year!

Steven Crichley

Carrick