An open letter from Vlad Putin to the American people:
My dearest Amerikan Demokrat and Repubican freinds,
You believe still accuse me meddling elections? I love Amerikans!!! Most beautiful people in hole world. Why I support candidate never heard of Armenia or Crimea? I prefer strong adversary, like Donald The Trump of New Yurk. He make Amerika grate again. He big, smart, beautiful man. He has terrific party. Support party. You must support party here. Please, knock hell all of each other.
Hold minute, got call; “Yes Donnie, I know that not plan. I get Ukraine with ugly pond, you get big beautiful Greenland. What big deal about call between freinds? Don’t forget, I get you email computers server. And promise return hotel tapes”.
Sorry all interruption. Hope see soon! We have beautiful big party plan for you!!!
David Poskin
Harrison