Mark Madden: Pirates are once again a national punchline

Cutting Rowdy Tellez and Michael A. Taylor in the season’s final week is par for the Pirates’ course, not least because it saves them a measly $200,000 bonus that was due Tellez had he batted four more times.

Bad PR and clubhouse discontent be damned, the Pirates are run for the sole purpose of maximizing profit. Anything else good that happens — like winning, which doesn’t — is coincidental and ancillary.

Bob Nutting is a hillbilly thief who has sold Pittsburgh’s baseball soul.

We knew that. It’s hardly been a secret.

But there are a few hidden villains in this Tellez/Taylor drama.

One is Tellez.

There’s zero excuse for cheating him out of $200k, which is chump change by MLB standards. After a bad start, Tellez rallied in June and finished with an OPS of .691, fifth on the Pirates and better than he did with Milwaukee last year. He pitched three times in routs to conserve arms. Pointless, but Tellez did it.

If you DFA your fifth-best offensive player, where does that leave everybody who did worse?

But Tellez was hitting .177 at the end of May.

Tellez ran his mouth in April about PNC Park booing then-closer David Bednar: “We don’t do that here.” Tellez had barely arrived in Pittsburgh.

Tellez made $3.2 million this season. Given his performance, that’s enough.

Tellez isn’t an ideal victim.

Before Taylor got ditched, he was mentoring Oneil Cruz in Cruz’s switch from shortstop to center field. That has a “Bull Durham” vibe.

GM Ben Cherington is another heel.

Cherington implements what Nutting wants. He turns greedy thoughts into larcenous deeds. If that’s the only way Cherington can be an MLB GM, it’s a rotten way to make a living.

Cherington said that Tellez being on the verge of a $200k bonus was “zero factor in the decision” but added that he was “aware of it, certainly.”

If Cherington was aware of it, then it factored in. How could it not? What other reason is there for cutting Tellez? (Am I digging too deep when I wonder if Taylor got DFA’d to dilute the shamelessness of dumping Tellez to dodge that bonus? To provide distraction.)

If the bonus wasn’t an issue, pay it to Tellez anyway. It’s the right thing to do.

Giving Liover Peguero and Josh Palacios a week in MLB does them zero good. That wasn’t the motivation.

Cherington can’t tell the truth. Con men never do.

But I can tell the truth: Cherington is a duplicitous snake who stays employed because he’s willing to be the hands, face and voice of Nutting’s avarice. It’s certainly not because he develops talent effectively.

Manager Derek Shelton is just a low-budget ninny. Cherington is a swindler. Neither will have more than token jobs in MLB once their tenure in Pittsburgh concludes.

A lot of Pirates fans are wearing the black hat, too.

One nitwit started a GoFundMe to pay Tellez his bonus.

Tellez has made $12.5 million playing baseball. He doesn’t need a GoFundMe. Don’t enable Nutting.

A vocal minority has taken the organization’s side in this narrative, citing poor performance by Tellez and Taylor, calling Tellez fat (of course) and noting that a franchise like the Pirates has to be run ruthlessly and efficiently.

Yeah, the efficiency level has been amazing. Like the development of Henry Davis. You won’t ever have to worry about Davis reaching a bonus.

It’s classic Stockholm syndrome. Maybe Patty Hearst could play first base.

How could Pirates fans not find this turn of events embarrassing? What would Roberto Clemente think? What does Paul Skenes think? The franchise, once again, is a national punchline.

Nutting doesn’t care.

Pirates fans should.

Nutting’s biggest feat is making Pirates fans care about his money like it’s their money even as he takes their money and makes it his money.

What’s next in store for Tellez? Competitive eating, I reckon. (I’m fatter than him, so I can say that.)