Mark Madden: Pirates signing catcher Luke Maile signifies rebranding, not rebuilding

The Pirates signed catcher Luke Maile. He hit .151 with Toronto last season. His career batting average is .198.

Gee, how can you not get excited?

The new Pirates management effectively has batted its eyes at the local stooge media, because we keep reading/hearing about Maile’s defensive acumen, particularly his pitch framing. Framing pitches better than any catcher ever doesn’t compensate for hitting .151. That’s a good number for rum. For a batting average, not so much.

Bucco loyalists point out Maile isn’t going to start. But .151 isn’t adequate production from any major league player regardless of his role.

To repeat: .151. If Mario Mendoza ever hit .151, he’d have beaten himself to death with his own bat.

Jacob Stallings seems lined up to be the Pirates’ No. 1 catcher. He hit .262 with six home runs last year. Roll over, Johnny Bench, and tell Mickey Cochrane the news.

The Pirates signing a .151 hitter sounds like a “Moneyball” outtake from the scenes where Brad Pitt/Billy Beane sits down with Oakland’s scouts.

The scouts say Maile has “a little hair on his (backside),” he must have confidence because “his girlfriend is a 10,” he “has a good jaw” and fills out his uniform well. Then Pitt/Beane says, “He hit .151! What the (bleep) are you talking about?”

But Pirates GM Ben Cherington didn’t say that. He signed Maile.

By the way, Maile doesn’t walk a lot. He could never walk enough to make up for hitting .151. Who would walk a .151 hitter? So much for “Moneyball.”

If any kids who play baseball are reading this, don’t worry about hitting. Just learn to frame pitches, and you’ll be in the majors in no time. (We’re also told that Maile calls a good game. But doesn’t the pitching coach do that these days?)

To repeat: .151. But only one number matters when it comes to signing Maile: He will make just $900,000. He’s cheap.

Signing Maile shows despite all the new hires, nothing has changed. The Pirates aren’t rebuilding. They’re rebranding. Different management, same priorities.

Still tone-deaf, too. A sports franchise’s primary marketable commodity is hope. You sell hope. Making a .151 hitter your second free-agent signing this offseason doesn’t do that. (The Pirates’ first was pitcher Hector Noesi, who had an ERA of 8.46 with Miami last season. You can tell Noesi never pitched to Maile.) Pitch-framing won’t move the turnstiles.

But the turnstiles don’t matter much when revenue streams that aren’t dependent by winning remain strong. Filling a big-league roster spot with somebody who makes $900K is a victory for owner Bob Nutting. That’s the kind of win he covets.

Previous GM Neal Huntington posted four winning seasons and three playoff berths in his 11 seasons. Clint Hurdle, the prior manager, did the same in his nine seasons.

Cherington and new manager Derek Shelton won’t do as well. That doesn’t mean they’re not good baseball men. It just means their situation is impossible.

As evidenced by signing a .151 hitter.