Mark Madden: Stop supporting the Pittsburgh Pirates

The stooges will soon resume hyping the great Paul Skenes (who wasn’t so great in the sixth inning Saturday) and the coming excellence of prospect Konnor Griffin (got to kick that can down the road).

But first, let’s sum up what the Pittsburgh Pirates did at Thursday’s trade deadline:

They stuck it up their fandom’s backside yet again.

They followed that up with two cataclysmic losses at Denver: They blew a 9-0 first-inning lead Friday, losing 17-16. On Saturday, they squandered a 4-0 lead with Skenes pitching. Blowing a win for Skenes is common, but this time he was complicit: four earned runs in five innings, chased in the sixth before retiring a batter.

Liover Peguero was summoned from Triple-A and hit three home runs Saturday. So why was Peguero in Triple-A?

Despite the glare from the brilliance of those two defeats shining directly in our eyes, let’s further define what the Pirates did at the deadline.

They put money in owner Bob Nutting’s pocket.

They got a big bag of nothing for closer David Bednar, starting pitcher Bailey Falter and third baseman Ke’Bryan Hayes. Zilch.

Bednar converted 17 straight saves. Falter’s ERA was a respectable 3.73. Hayes got a Gold Glove in 2023. (Oneil Cruz’s glove is made of a different metal.)

GM Ben Cherington heightened his status as pantomime villain with his performance at the trade deadline. But he’s merely acting on Nutting’s intent, which is 100% profit based.

The Pirates saved a prorated chunk of about $15 million on this year’s payroll by moving Bednar, Falter and Hayes. Hayes was owed another $30 million over the next four seasons. Bednar and Falter would have seen next season’s wages zoom in arbitration.

That’s the only reason those trades were made. To dump salary. Return had nothing to do with it.

Cherington denied that, of course. He also said that money is spent outside payroll in the pursuit of winning. It sure isn’t on scouting and development. (See Davis, Henry.)

Such savings sound like chump change when a billionaire is involved. Meager. But for a grifter, every dollar stolen is a victory. (Last season, the Pirates cut Rowdy Tellez just four plate appearances short of reaching a lousy $200,000 bonus.)

Money saved will not be reinvested in the roster beyond doing the bare minimum, like always.

I can only assume that players on expiring contracts — Andrew Heaney, Isiah Kiner-Falefa and Tommy Pham — weren’t traded because no teams were interested. Because otherwise, keeping that trio can’t be justified.

When you see Nutting’s thrift displayed with the trades of Bednar, Falter and Hayes, how can you doubt that Skenes will be dealt when he gets a big arbitration award for 2027?

This cycle will never end.

Nutting has no intent to win whatsoever.

There’s no point in analyzing what’s to come. It’s a waste of time. Theo Epstein dipped in Billy Beane couldn’t overcome Nutting’s avarice.

I’m not one to suggest boycotts. People can spend their entertainment dollar as they see fit.

But if you attend Pirates games, you’re stupid.

If you watch Pirates games on TV, you’re stupid.

If you buy Pirates merchandise, you’re stupid.

If you get emotionally invested in the Pirates, you’re stupid.

If you think PNC Park is America’s greatest ballpark, you’re right. But you only have to see it once. Go watch the Savannah Bananas play there.

You can buy the bobbleheads on eBay.

You can see drone shows at Kennywood Park, an honest Pittsburgh institution.

Enjoy fireworks night from outside the stadium.

Pittsburgh’s media outlets should cover the Pirates minimally and should absolutely not shoulder the expense of sending anybody on the road.

There is no logical reason to support the Pirates in any way.

Most carnivals have a booth where you can win a prize by shooting a basket. Seems easy.

But those baskets are a foot higher than regulation, further away than 3-point range, the rim is imperceptibly smaller, the ball is overinflated, and the backboard is oddly angled.

In short, it’s fixed.

It’s one thing to try without realizing that. It’s another to know but keep paying and shooting.

With the Pirates, you know. How could you not? Don’t pay. Don’t shoot.

I wish everybody could agree on this, say it out loud and ignore the Pirates.