Paul Schofield: Reporter's 1st competitive golf tournament wasn't pretty

A few weeks ago, I approached my boss and asked him if it was OK to write about my experience playing in a golf event that I covered.

With his blessing, I paid my entry fee and headed to the Latrobe Elks Golf Course with my 16 handicap Aug. 23 and played in the Westmoreland County Senior Amateur.

I was all excited to give it a whirl. British golf commentator Ben Wright would have called my performance “dreadful.” I’d agree.

I promptly embarrassed myself. It was far from the 82 I shot at Glengarry Golf Links, my home course, a month ago.

I played my worst round of golf in years. I mean, it was horrendous.

Going into the event, I didn’t have any great expectations. I just wanted to play my game and see how I scored under pressure.

The county is loaded with some great players — Sean Knapp, Arnie Cutrell, Bryan Grejtak, Bob Allshouse, Brandon Antus, Dr. Jim Bryan, Vince Zachetti, Dave DeNezza — so I knew winning was out of the question.

I also found out competitive golf is a lot tougher than playing with your buddies once or twice a week. First, you play your ball as it lies. There is no fluffing up the ball, no gimmes and no mulligans.

You could tell which players had played in a lot of competitive tournaments before based on how they approached each shot.

I only wish my bad shots were as bad as Zachetti’s, who didn’t like a few of his shots. He recovered effortlessly if he made a bad choice. I did not.

I offer no excuses for my poor performance. Sure, my knees hurt, but there were probably other golfers who played with aches and pains.

Tournament director Allshouse asked me if I was nervous.

“No,” I told him. “I just didn’t hit it well enough.”

That was an understatement. I also encountered some bad luck. They put trees in bad spots on the golf course, or maybe my errant shots just seemed to find them.

I shot a 92 in a practice round and would have been satisfied if I was close to that. I wasn’t. I hit that mark somewhere on No. 16.

The highlight of the round, but not really, is when I chipped in for a nine on No. 12.

I whispered to playing partners Ed Elliott, DeNezza and Zachetti that it was a good thing the flagstick got in the way or it would have been an 11.

That drew a chuckle.

I started well. I scrambled for a par on No. 1 by escaping the trees to the left of the fairway and sinking a 6-footer. It reminded me of what my friend Mark Katarski would say: “I’ve seen that act before.”

Trees became a problem on No. 3. A couple poor chips followed on No. 5, 7 and 8 as my score added up. A three-putt on No. 9 added to my misery.

If I thought the front nine was bad, the start of the back nine was worse. The first three holes were a nightmare 7-8-9, and I don’t mean the hole numbers. I was beginning to wonder what I was doing in this event.

Things got a little better after that. I parred No. 16, but No. 18 was just as bad as the first three holes on the back.

After I took short break for a snack, I was back on the course for nine more holes. At least I played my best nine of the event, which was some comfort.

It was highlighted by back-to-back pars on No. 3 and 4. I sank a curling 25 footer from the fringe on No. 4.

All in all, it was a fun experience except for my play.

All the guys who put up with me were great and yes, I’d do it again.

I know I’ll play better. I couldn’t play any worse.

Oh yeah, my score for 27 holes? 155. At least I wasn’t last. One golfer was worse than me.

The winner was Sean Knapp, who shot 1-under-par 107. I could only dream of doing that.